Quotes from Jeff Bridges movies and TV shows - page 2 of 7

Maude Lebowski: Do you like sex, Mr. Lebowski?
The Dude: 'Scuse me?
Maude Lebowski: Sex. The physical act of love. Coitus. Do you like it?
The Dude: I was talking about my rug.
Maude Lebowski: You're not interested in sex?
The Dude: You mean coitus?

The Dude: I only said I THOUGHT she kidnapped herself. You're the one who's so fucking certain!
Walter Sobchak: That's right, Dude. 100% certain.

Goon: Where's the money, Lebowski?
[Shoves the Dude's head down the toilet then pulls him back up.]
Goon: Where's the money, Lebowski?
The Dude: It's down there somewhere, let me have another look.

The Dude: Let me explain something to you; I am not Mr. Lebowski. You're Mr. Lebowski. I'm the Dude. So that's what you call me. You know, that or uh, His Dudeness, or uh, Duder, or El Duderino if you're not into the whole brevity thing.

The Big Lebowski: Are you employed, sir?
The Dude: Employed?
The Big Lebowski: You don't go out looking for a job dressed like that? On a weekday?
The Dude: Is this a... What day is this?

Bunny: Ulli doesn't care about anything. He's a Nihilist.
The Dude: Ah. Must be exhausting.

Malibu Police Chief: Mr. Treehorn draws a lot of water in this town. You don't draw shit, Lebowski. Now we got a nice, quiet little beach community here, and I aim to keep it nice and quiet. So let me make something plain. I don't like you sucking around, bothering our citizens, Lebowski. I don't like your jerk-off name. I don't like your jerk-off face. I don't like your jerk-off behavior, and I don't like you, jerk-off. Do I make myself clear?
The Dude: [long pause.] I'm sorry, I wasn't listening.
[The chief of police viciously throws a coffee mug at his head.]
The Dude: Ow! Fucking fascist!

[Explaining to the furious Big Lebowski how he has lost the ransom money.]
The Dude: I dropped off the money exactly as per - look... Man, I've got certain information, all right? Certain things have come to light, and - y'know, has it ever occurred to you, that, instead of, uh, y'know, running around, uh, uh, blaming me, y'know, given the nature of all this new shit, y'know, this could be a-a-a-a lot more, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, complex, I mean, it's not just, it might not be just such a simple... Uh, y'know?

Bunny: I'll suck your cock for a thousand dollars.
Brandt: [Forced laughter.] Hahahahaha! Wonderful woman. We're all, we're all very fond of her. Very free-spirited.
Bunny: Brandt can't watch, though, or he has to pay a hundred.
Brandt: Ahahaha. That's marvellous.
The Dude: Uh, I'm just gonna go find a cash machine.

The Dude: It's like what Lenin said... You look for the person who will benefit, and, uh, uh...
Donny: I am the walrus.
The Dude: You know what I'm trying to say...
Walter Sobchak: That fucking bitch...
Donny: I am the walrus.
Walter Sobchak: Shut the fuck up, Donny! V.I. Lenin! Vladimir Ilich Ulyanov!

The Dude: Hey! Watch it man, there's a beverage here.

[Maude shows the porn video starring Bunny to the Dude.]
Sherry: [on video.] You must be here to fix the cable.
Maude Lebowski: Lord. You can imagine where it goes from here.
The Dude: He fixes the cable?
Maude Lebowski: Don't be fatuous, Jeffrey.

Maude Lebowski: What do you do for recreation?
The Dude: Oh, the usual. I bowl. Drive around. The occasional acid flashback.

The Dude: That rug really tied the room together.

Maude Lebowski: Does the female form make you uncomfortable, Mr. Lebowski?
The Dude: Uh, is that what this is a picture of?
Maude Lebowski: In a sense, yes. My art has been commended as being strongly vaginal which bothers some men. The word itself makes some men uncomfortable. Vagina.
The Dude: Oh yeah?
Maude Lebowski: Yes, they don't like hearing it and find it difficult to say whereas without batting an eye a man will refer to his dick or his rod or his Johnson.
The Dude: Johnson?

The Dude: I'm sorry your stepmother is a nympho.

James 'Jimmy' Dove: Rule number one when you're disarming Betty: You don't step on 'em.

President Jackson Evans: Mr. Chairman, let's just say..."I'm guilty but not responsible", hmm?

President Jackson Evans: You're the future of the Democratic party. And you always will be.

President Jackson Evans: I'll die before Shelly Runyon checkmates me.