Quotes from Jed Rees movies and TV shows

Glen: Hey! Guess how many fingers I have.
Steve Barker: Uhh, 10?
Glen: No. I have 8 fingers and 2 thumbs! Ha Ha Ha.

Glen: Next time we should go Danish - split it 60/60.
Lynn Sheridan: You mean 50/50.
Glen: What, you don't believe in tipping?

Glen: People tell us all the time what we won't ever do. Won't ever read, won't ever have a job, won't ever learn to tie my own shoes, won't ever have a girlfriend. Well I have done all those things.
Mark: But you can't tie your own shoes.
Winston: And you never had a girlfwiend.
Glen: That's right.