Quotes from Jake Gyllenhaal movies and TV shows

Danny Sharp: You are all gonna have the greatest story to tell at dinner tonight.

Danny Sharp: We're not the bad guys, we're just the guys trying to get home.
Will Sharp: Well, we don't get to walk off into the sunset.

Cam Thompson: What do you want?
Danny Sharp: We're just gonna borrow it.
Cam Thompson: I got a cop shot, I gotta get him to the hospital.
Danny Sharp: I'm gonna need you to help us, why don't you help us?
Will Sharp: We're doing hostages now?

Jack Twist: God, I wish I knew how to quit you!
Ennis Del Mar: Well, why don't you?

Jack Twist: That's more words than you've spoke in the past two weeks.
Ennis Del Mar: Hell, that's the most I've spoke in a year.

Maggie Cahill: Hey! No drinking out of the carton. It's gross.
Tommy Cahill: Shut up. You're gross.

Tommy Cahill: He's my brother.

Tommy Cahill: I'd cut my throat to bring him back.

Sam Hall: Look, I got every question right on the final, and the only reason Mr. Spengler failed me is because I didn't write out the solutions.
Jack Hall: Why not?
Sam Hall: I do 'em in my head.
Jack Hall: Did you tell him that?
Sam Hall: I did. He said he didn't believe me. He said that if he couldn't do them in his head, then I must be cheating.
Jack Hall: Well, that's ridiculous! How can he fail you for being smarter than he is?
Sam Hall: That's what I said.
Jack Hall: You did? How did he take it?
Sam Hall: He flunked me, remember?

Davis: You are one fucked-up kid.
Chris: You're one fucked-up adult.

Davis: Dear Champion Vending Company: I put five quarters in your machine and proceeded to push B2, which should have given me peanut M&M's. Regrettably, it did not. I found this upsetting, as I was very hungry, and also my wife had died ten minutes earlier.

Karen: I can't have sex with you. It'd be dangerous.
Davis: There's that word again. Is Carl really out of town, or did you just chop him up into little pieces and stuff him in your sock drawer?
Karen: That's ridiculous. I don't have a sock drawer.
Davis: Well... where do you keep all your socks?
Karen: In the same drawer as my underwear.
Davis: What? I just... You know, I just think a woman's underwear is deserving of its own space.

Donnie: Life isn't that simple. I mean who cares if Ling Ling returns the wallet and keeps the money? It has nothing to do with either fear or love.
Kitty Farmer: Fear and love are the deepest of human emotions.
Donnie: Okay. But you're not listening to me. There are other things that need to be taken into account here. Like the whole spectrum of human emotion. You can't just lump everything into these two categories and then just deny everything else!

Donnie: You are such a fuckass.
Elizabeth: Did you just call me a fuckass? You can go suck a fuck.
Donnie: Oh, please, tell me Elizabeth, how exactly does one suck a fuck?

Gretchen: You're weird.
Donnie: Sorry.
Gretchen: No, that was a compliment.

Donnie: I promise, that one day, everything's going to be better for you.

Donnie: Why do you wear that stupid bunny suit?
Frank: Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?

Samantha Darko: Why do I have to sleep with Donnie? He stinks.
Donnie: When you fall asleep tonight, I'm gonna fart in your face.

Donnie: How can you do that?
Frank: I can do anything I want. And so can you.

Donnie: Where did you come from?
Frank: Do you believe in time travel?