Quotes from Jacob Pitts movies and TV shows

Cooper: This sucks. I can't believe I'm the only one who didn't hook up while we were here. Europe is officially the worst country on earth.

Cooper: I'm taking a nap. Wake me up when the train gets here.
Jenny: It says here this town has a famous nude beach.
Cooper: Alright, look, we can't all just lie around all day, we've got to get out there and experience the culture first hand!

Cooper: This is just so brutal, and yet I can't look away.

Scott: I told her to keep her hands off my genitals.
Cooper: Well given what we know now, that seems like the exact opposite of what you want.

Cooper: You know America was founded by prudes. Prudes who left Europe because they hated all the kinky, steamy European sex that was going on. And now I, Cooper Harris, will return to the land of my perverted forefathers and claim my birthright.

Cooper: Check this out! I'm the Pope!
Scott: Cooper, take off the Pope hat!
Cooper: Oh no, it's okay, I'm Catholic.

Cooper: Oh, here it is. Bratislava. Hmm. Capital of Slovakia. Oh, here's a fun fact: You made out with your sister, man!

Cooper: Show her the picture. She makes every girl in our high school look like a walrus.
Jenny: I'm a girl from your high school.
Cooper: No, I mean *girl* girls.

Cooper: What's the etiquette on boners? Do I role over and dig out a hole for it, or is it cool to just let my flag fly?

Cooper: There's got to be a hundred drunk girls here, and we should be trying to have sex with every one of them!
Jenny: Hello. Mixed company?
Cooper: What?
Jenny: I'm a girl.
Scott: No, you're not.
Cooper: Yeah, you're just a cool guy with long hair.