Jim Brockmire: Lucy, put supper on the stove, my dear, 'cause this ballgame is over.
Quotes from Hank Azaria movies and TV shows
Lucy Palotti: He is scum! As far as he's concerned, you're just a pair of breasts that talk.
Victor 'Animal' Palotti: Hey, there's an image.
Victor 'Animal' Palotti: You gonna be all right?
Lucy Palotti: Yeah, Audrey's gonna spend the night with us.
Victor 'Animal' Palotti: Cool. A threesome. That's excellent. I'm a little tired.
Victor 'Animal' Palotti: What do we do now?
Philippe Roaché: Running would be a good idea.
Vincent Hanna: Charlene Shiherlis.
Alan Marciano: Who?
Vincent Hanna: Who? Who? What are you a fuckin' owl?
Alan Marciano: Why'd I get mixed up with that bitch?
Vincent Hanna: Cause she's got a great ass. And you got your head...all the way up it.
Alan Marciano: Jesus!
Vincent Hanna: Ferocious, aren't I? When I think of asses...a woman's ass...something comes out of me.
The Blue Raja: I'm a superhero, Mother. An effete British superhero. Your boy's a Limey forkflinger, Mother! What WILL the bridge club say?
The Blue Raja: May the forks be with us.
More The Simpsons Movie quotes
[Homer is at Moe's Bar talking about when his jaw was broken.]
Homer: And when I couldn't talk, I learned to listen! You can learn so much if you just listen once in a while.
Lenny: Let's try it!
[They listen and hear Moe on the phone in a back room.]
Moe: Hello, uh, I'd like to arrange for an escort, please? TO WHERE? How about orgasm-ville, ya dumb - hey, hello? Hello?
Who Shot Mr. Burns? (2) - S7-E1
Chief Wiggum: This bullet matches the one we took out of Burns. Homer Simpson, you're under arrest for attempted murder.
Homer Simpson: D'oh!
Chief Wiggum: Yeah, that's what they all say. They all say "D'oh."
Marge vs. the Monorail - S4-E12
Mayor Quimby: Alright, I'm in charge here.
Chief Wiggum: Oh, run along Quimby. I think they're dedicating a phone booth somewhere.
Mayor Quimby: Watch it, you talking tub of donut batter.
Chief Wiggum: Hey, I got pictures of you Quimby.
Mayor Quimby: You don't scare me. That could be anyone's ass.
Homer vs. Patty and Selma - S6-E17
Chief Wiggum: Evening, Simpson. You got a short in your taillight, started blinking when you made that turn.
The Principal and the Pauper - S9-E2
Superintendent Chalmers: The rod up that man's butt must have a rod up its butt.
Marge: Ooh, a rattle. Thank you, Selma.
Moe: Yeah, great present, Selma. Nice of you to break a five.
Selma: Get a neck, Frankenstein.
Moe: Hey, open my present. Open my present. It's Uncle Moe's play tavern, with classic drunk Barney. Look, even the little toilet is broken.
Marge: I don't know if toy drunkards are an appropriate gift for a baby.
Moe: Sure they are. They even talk, look [flips switch on a Homer figurine].
Homer Figurine: I peed my pants.
Homer: I recorded that for private use!
Mr. Burns: Must call Smithers. He'll protect me from this beast. I've seen people activate this machine a thousand times. Doesn't seem to be any trick to it. Let's see, Smithers [begins dialing], S-M-I-T-H-E-R-S. Success, it's ringing!
Moe: Moe's Tavern.
Mr. Burns: I'm looking for a Mr. Smithers. First name: Waylon
Moe: Oh, so you're looking for a Mr. Smithers, eh? First name Waylon, is it? Listen to me, you! When I catch you I'm gonna pull out your eyes and shove 'em down your pants, so you can watch me kick the crap out of you! Okay!? Then I'm gonna use your tongue to paint my boat!
Moe: Flaming Moe's.
Bart: Uh, yes, I'm looking for a friend of mine. Last name: Jass. First name: Hugh.
Moe: Uh, hold on, I'll check. Uh, Hugh Jass. Somebody check the men's room for a Hugh Jass.
Hugh Jass: I'm Hugh Jass.
Moe: Telephone.
Hugh Jass: Hello, this is Hugh Jass.
Bart: Uh, hi.
Hugh Jass: Who's this?
Bart: Bart Simpson.
Hugh Jass: Well what can I do for you, Bart?
Bart: Uh, look. I'll level with you, mister. This is a crank call that sorta backfired, and I'd like to bail out right now.
Hugh Jass: Alright, better luck next time [hangs up]. What a nice young man.
Cape Feare - S5-E2
Chief Wiggum: Sideshow Bob has no decency. He called me Chief Piggum. [Gallery laughs] Oh, now I get it. Ah ha ha, that's good.
Selma: Sideshow Bob tried to kill me on our honeymoon.
Blue-haired Lawyer: How many people in this court are thinking of killing her right now? [A few people raise their hands] Be honest. [Everyone raises their hands, including Patty]
Patty: Ah, she's always leaving the toilet seat up.
Blue-haired Lawyer: Robert, if released would you pose any threat to one Bart Simpson?
Sideshow Bob: Bart Simpson? The spirited little scamp who twice foiled my evil schemes and sent me to this dank, urine-soaked hell-hole.
Parole Board Member #1: Uh, we object to the term "urine-soaked hell-hole" when you could have said "pee-pee-soaked heck-hole."
Sideshow Bob: Cheerfully withdrawn.
Blue-haired Lawyer: Well what about that tattoo on your chest? Doesn't it say "Die Bart, Die?"
Sideshow Bob: No, that's German for "The Bart, The."
Parole Board Member #3: No one who speaks German could be an evil man.
Parole Board Member #2: Parole granted.
Milhouse Doesn't Live Here Anymore - S15-E12
Apu: Attention American bar devils: it's our anniversary. Free drinks for everyone.
Homer: That's great! I'm honored to drink to Apu and, uh, Apulina. You know, Marge and I have an anniversary coming up.
Apu: I have given Manjula many gifts, including a bouquet of flowers, diamond earrings, and we're going to see Paris... Hilton, in Paris... Texas, on our way to Paris... France.
Tree House of Horror IX - S10-E4
Chief Wiggum: Homer Simpson, you're under arrest for the murders of Moe Szyslak and Apu Nahasa... pasa... uh, just Moe. Just Moe.
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