Detective Bill Reimers: I've had this moustache for thirteen years. How long have you had yours?
Gina Garrett: So when are we inviting them over for drinks?
Chris Lecce: Uh, Bill.
Bill Reimers: Yes, Chris?
Chris Lecce: Did I just hear you ask me to invite the neighbors over for drinks? The very people we are here to stake out?
Bill Reimers: Why, no Chris, I'd never think of such a thing.
Chris Lecce: Good to know Bill.
Alex Furlong: How'm I doin'?
Victor Vacendak: Not bad.
Alex Furlong: How the hell do you eat river rat?
Eagle Man: Well, first you gotta cut off the head and the tail, and then you gut it. Then it's all a matter of the sauce. You don't just plop down a rodent on a plate and say here's your river rat would you like red wine or white with 'em. Not that there's any wine around here anyway.
Alex Furlong: What... no applause?
Victor Vacendak: Show's not over yet.
Jack Colt: Who are you?
Mr. Jigsaw: I'm your worst nightmare.
Jack Colt: No, waking up without my penis is my worst nightmare.
Bill Robinson: What the hell are you doing in there?
Brett: Changing. That salesman had his hands all over me, and he's dead now and I don't like the smell of him on me. I don't like it.
Bill Robinson: Jesus.
Bill Robinson: Mother's helper?
Brett: A girl hitching her way down to Florida needs some protection.
Bill Robinson: Yeah? That's what you're doing?
Brett: Yeah. That I was doing before every machine went into maximum overdrive.
Brett: Maybe tomorrow it will be our world again.
Bill Robinson: I don't know. Was it ever?
Bill Robinson: Jesus is coming and he is pissed.
Gordon Bombay: Keep swingin'. Maybe you'll give them a cold.
Gordon Bombay: Did you really Quack at the Principal?
Ducks: Yeah.
Gordon Bombay: Are we Ducks or what?
Gordon Bombay: Thank you very much, Mr. Ducksworth! Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack, Mr. Ducksworth.
Charlie Conway: You know, she has many fine qualities that men find attractive.
Gordon Bombay: I'm aware, Charlie. That fact has not escaped me.
Gordon Bombay: Now here's the long and the short of it: I hate hockey and I don't like kids.
Peter Mark: What's this supposed to be, a pep talk?
Gordon Bombay: I'm sure this will be a real bonding experience. One day, maybe one of you will write a book about it in jail.
Gordon Bombay: Concentration, not strength.
Les Averman: Like the Karate Kid, right? Wax on! Wax off.
Connie Moreau: Just shut up and try it, Averman.
Gordon Bombay: A team isn't a bunch of kids out to win. A team is something you belong to, something you feel, something you have to earn.
Gordon Bombay: You think losing is funny?
Les Averman: Well, not at first, but once you get the hang of it.
Jesse: We're the ones out there gettin' our butts kicked.
Terry Hall: Yeah, it's not like you coach us or anything. At least we tried.
Gordon Bombay: Is there a goalie?
Goldberg: Only for a little while. L'm moving back to Philly.
Gordon Bombay: Thank you for sharing that.
Gordon Bombay: I hate kids. They're barely human.
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