Quotes from David Spade movies and TV shows

[Playing baseball, Gus just hit a homerun.]
Richie: He just did that steroid free!
Clark: What's steroids?
Richie: Something that makes your pee-pee smaller.
Clark: There must be steroids in macaroni!

Mike: I'm just dandy, I got a bowl of chocolate pudding in my underpants.
Steve: We didn't have any pudding in there buddy.

Mike: What the hell was that?
Steve: A chunk in the road or something.
Mike: I just chunked in my pants.

Steve Dodds: [After hitting Drake with his car] Oh! Oh! Buddy, are you ok?
Drake Sabitch: I'm not that far from dragging you out of the car and beating you to dust.
Steve: You should work up to that. Kinda leaves you nowhere to go.
Drake: I can go to your mamma's and start a small fire in her panties. Now, are you ready to get out of the car?

Bishop73

Steve Dodds: Are you or are you not the black angel of death?
Mike Donnelly: Without question.
Steve: Don't agree with me. It just pisses me off more.

Bishop73

Dickie Roberts: May I help you? Was I being too loud in my treeehouse?

Dickie Roberts: Insane in the membrane! Insane, got no brain.

Mrs. Gertrude: Aren't you a bit big to be in a stroller?
Dickie Roberts: Aren't you bit big to be on the sidewalk?

Dickie Roberts: This is Nuckin' Futs.

Kuzco: This is Yzma, the emperor's advisor. Living proof that dinosaurs once roamed the Earth.

Pacha: Oh no.
Kuzco: Let me guess, we're about to go over a huge waterfall.
Pacha: Yup.
Kuzco: Sharp rocks at the bottom?
Pacha: Most likely.
Kuzco: Bring it on.

Kuzco: Big, dumb and tone-deaf. I am so glad I was unconscious for all of this.

Kuzco: You know, it's a good thing you're not a big fat guy, or this would be really difficult.

Lenny Feder: Higgy!
Marcus Higgins: Hey, what's up, Lenny? Buddy, I thought you were gonna start working out.
Lenny Feder: What does that mean?
Marcus Higgins: Um... You're fat.
Lenny Feder: No!

Joe Dirt: So, you're gonna tell me, that you don't have no black cats, no Roman candles, or screamin' mimis?
Kicking Wing: No.
Joe Dirt: Oh come on man. You don't got no lady fingers, buzz bottles, snicker bombs, church burners, finger blasters, gut busters, zip-a-dee-do-dahs, crap flappers?
Kicking Wing: No, I don't.
Joe Dirt: You're gonna stand there, owning a firework stand, and tell me you don't have no whistling bungholes, no spleen splitters, whisker biscuits, honker lighters, huskers dus, husker don'ts, cherry bombs, nipsy dazers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whisking kitty chaser?

Bishop73

Tommy: You know a lot of people go to college for seven years.
Richard: I know. They're called doctors.

Tommy: Does this suit make me look fat?
Richard: No, your face does.

Cubs Fan ★