Peter MacMannus: Catch, you are the best friend a guy with twenty diagnosed neuroses ever had.
Catcher Block: Oh, we've been friends a long time... I knew you when you only had twelve.
Quotes from David Hyde Pierce movies and TV shows
Vickie Hiller: At one point, I had even convinced myself that life was all one big zany sex comedy and you had switched keys with the lead to use his swinging pad to snare me.
Peter MacMannus: I did! I did switch keys with the lead.
Vickie Hiller: The men who resent my success won't give me the time of day, and the men who respect my success won't give me the time of night.
Peter MacMannus: If you give me the chance, I'd respect you and resent you day and night, and night and day.
Catcher Block: I don't care about sex anymore. I just want to get married.
Peter MacMannus: Well me too. But fat chance now.
Peter MacMannus: 4,000,000 women in the naked city, and the one you let get away, the one you had to get on the bad side of, is the one all the other 4,000,000 are listening to.
Frasier: You know the expression "Living well is the best revenge"?
Niles: Wonderful expression. I just don't know how true it is, you don't see it turning up in a lot of opera plots."Ludwig, maddened by the poisoning of his entire family, wreaked vengeance on Gunther in the third act by living well."
[Frasier tries to convince Niles that sleeping with Nanny G is the right thing to do.]
Niles: Did you say something? Your penis was talking so loud I couldn't hear!
More Frasier quotes
Narrator: The male and female feed on a meal of dead earth creature and vegetation.
Narrator: He makes his way to the long, elevated surface where he will consume small amounts of fermented grain in the hopes that it will make him more appealing to a potential mate. In fact, it has the opposite effect. The fermented grain makes all females more appealing to him.
Narrator: The mating habits of the earthbound human. From meeting in a bar, to conceiving on a floor, to proposing in an abortion clinic, so it goes with all earthbound humans. WIth a mating ritual so complex and intricate that their mere survival defies all logic, one can only feel for them a sense of respect and admiration. So let's not blow up their planet after all.
Narrator: The female is ready. But she must wait for the male to figure this out on his own. She can emit no odor to help him. In fact, to do so would be disastrous.
Osmosis: We were so poor, we lived off peanut butter and cellulite sandwiches! You ever try to blow-dry your hair with a fart?
Drix: OK, I get it. You were poor.
Osmosis: You bet I was! You ever try to make a snowman out of toilet paper cling-ons? Now that's poor!
Drix: OK, please, you're going to make me vomit!
Osmosis: Vomit? We couldn't afford no vomit; that's for rich folk.
Drix: Excuse me while I wipe my eyes.
Osmosis: Oh, you wanna talk about wiping?
Drix: No.
Officer on radio: Suspect is heading towards the uvula. Repeat, heading towards the uvula.
Osmosis Jones: What the heck is a u-vala?
Drix: It's that little dangly thing that hangs down in Frank's...
Osmosis Jones: Boxer shorts! OK, here we go!
Drix: Not that little dangly thing! The one in his throat!
Osmosis Jones: I knew that, I knew that.
Osmosis Jones: You're gonna have to talk to my new partner, if he feels like hangin' around a little while.
Drix: But my work visa's expired.
Osmosis Jones: Well, we'll go down to the hemorrhoid and get you a good lawyer.
Warwick Wilson: It's a cheeky drop.
Warwick Wilson: Don't thank me, John. You make things very entertaining.
Warwick Wilson: Lighten up, John! It's a party.
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