Quotes from Danny DeVito movies and TV shows

The Penguin: Touring the riot scene. Gravely assessing the devastation. Upstanding mayor stuff.

The Penguin: They wouldn't put me on a pedestal, so I'm layin' them out on a slab!

The Penguin: Why does somebody always bring eggs and tomatoes to a speech?

The Penguin: Don't adjust your sets. Welcome to the Oswald Cobblepot school of driving. Gentlemen, start your screaming.

The Penguin: It's true I was their number one son... But they treated me like number two!

Henchman: Penguin... Killing sleeping children. Isn't it that a little ah...
[Penguin grabs an umbrella and shoots Henchman dead.]
The Penguin: No! It's a lot!

The Penguin: You're just jealous because I'm a genuine freak and you have to wear a mask.

The Penguin: I am not a human being, I am an animal!

The Penguin: Just relax. I'll take care of the squealing, wretched, pinhead puppets of Gotham!

Young Female Volunteer: You're the coolest role-model a young person could have!
The Penguin: And you're the hottest young person a role-model could have.

Batman: What do you want?
The Penguin: Ah! The direct approach. I admire that in a man with a mask.

The Penguin: You've gotta admit, I've played this stinking city like a harp from hell.

Catwoman: You said you were going to scare the Ice Princess.
The Penguin: She looked pretty scared to me.

The Penguin: I could really get into this mayor stuff! It's not about power! It's about reaching out to people! Touching people! Groping people!

Phil Cooper: A man hasn't any idea what his soul looks like until he gazes into the eyes for the woman that he's married to. And then, if he's any kind of decent human being, he spends the next couple of days throwing up. Because no honest man can stand that image.

Max Medici: Never do anything I tell you, without checking with me first.

Chili Palmer: Martin, look at me.
Martin Weir: I'm looking at you.
Chili Palmer: No, look at me the way I'm looking at you.

Bobby Ciaro: Someday, your gonna be president of the United States.
Jimmy Hoffa: Fuck that. Someday, I'm gonna be president of the Teamsters.

Frank Reynolds: We gotta definitely write a song about how we do not diddle kids! "Do not diddle kids, it's no good diddling kids."
Mac: There is no quicker way for people to think that you are diddling kids than by writing a song about it.

Frank Reynolds: I'm the Trash Man! I come out, I throw trash all over the - all over the ring! And then I start eatin' garbage! And then I pick up the trash can, and I bash the guy on the head.