Quotes from Dan Aykroyd movies and TV shows

Chip: Oh, please, Muffy. Not another crusade.

Mighty Mack: The suit's real neat, but do I have to wear the hat?
Elwood Blues: These are unsophisticated men. They only respond to fear and the draw of lucre. We elicit this by using iconographic symbols, and psychological intimidation. The way we look together presents a uniform image of strength and organization. Don't say anything. Look mean. No smiling.

Elwood Blues: Duck, give me a mountain tempo in A minor.

Elwood Blues: Stay away from drugs, gangs, and cyberporn on the Internet and you can be President of the United States some day.

Cab Chamberlain: I thought you said she was old and ugly.
Elwood Blues: Ix-nay on the ugly-ay.

Elwood Blues: We've got to get off this road. They've called ahead by now and you can't outrun a Motorola.

Elwood: It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses.
Jake: Hit it.

Elwood: What kind of music do you usually have here?
Bartender: Oh, we got both kinds, country AND western!

Elwood: They're not gonna catch us. We're on a mission from God.

Jimmy Flaherty: Prison won't be so bad. I can became a born-again Christian. And that'll be good. Because nobody wants a born-again Christian as their bitch.

Bishop73

Vic Frohmeyer: Nora Krank, we're here for Frosty.

Athletic Cone: I have learned much from watching the Garthok battle. It has weaknesses. I believe I can take it.
Beldar Conehead: Uh-huh. And let me know when Elvis gets here.

Beldar Conehead: An owner's manual to a Ford Lincoln Mercury Sable.
Highmaster: Ford Lincoln Mercury Sable?
Beldar Conehead: A personal conveyance named after its inventor, an assassinated ruler, a character from Greco-Roman myth and a small fur-covered mammal.
Highmaster: Ah.

Otto: Are you telling me you don't have a social security number?
Beldar Conehead: Correct.
Otto: Why not?
Beldar Conehead: I am an illegal alien.

Clifford Skridlow: Nothing can destroy the Doctor.

Clifford Skridlow: Do you have any idea how college faculty members eat? On what we get paid, a free meal is like honey to a bear to these people! They're going to want to eat enough to hibernate on! They're animals.

Friday: I wouldn't worry about the door, Muzz. The kind of scum who'd represent you would ooze right under it.

Movie Nut

Joe Friday: Just let me tell you something, Mr. Lone Wolf. The dedicated men and women of the Los Angeles Police Department comprise one big family, from my brother the traffic cop to my sister the meter maid. And when one of us makes a collar, we all make a collar!
Pep Streebek: Friday, are you on any special medications that as your partner I should be made aware of?

Daisy Werthan: It's 7:16.
Boolie Werthan: You should have a job on the radio announcing the time.

Hoke Colburn: Oscar said you needin' somebody to drive for yo' family... now, what I'm 'on be doin'? Takin' your children to school, drivin' your wife to the beauty parlor?
Boolie Werthan: I don't have any children. Don't have the time.
Hoke Colburn: Aw, that's a shame! Course, you still a young man, so I wouldn't worry 'bout it too much.
Boolie Werthan: Thank you, I won't.