Quotes from Cameron Diaz movies and TV shows - page 2 of 3

PJ Puznowski: Like mama always said, if you can't tell the difference between a pig and a javelina, well, you could lose a big old chunk out of your ass.

Lionel Shahbandar: So, how do you find London?
PJ Puznowski: Well, everybody knows the answer to that one. You turn right at Greenland.

Amanda: You know, I was just thinking why would I ever leave before New Year's Eve? That makes no sense at all. I mean, you didn't exactly ask me out... but you did say you loved me... so I'm thinking I've got a date. If you'll have me.
Graham: I have the girls New Year's Eve.
Amanda: Sounds perfect.

Amanda: Are you D-I-V-O-R-C-E-D?
Graham: No W-I-D-O-W-E-R.

Graham: Well, I cry all the time.
Amanda: You do not.
Graham: Yeah I do. More than any woman you've ever met.
Amanda: You don't have to be this nice.
Graham: It happens to be the truth.
Amanda: Really?
Graham: A good book, a great film, a birthday card, I weep.
Amanda: Shut up.
Graham: I'm a major weeper.

Amanda: I'm not going to fall in love with you, I promise.
Graham: Okay. Nicely put. Thank you.
Amanda: No, it's just that I know myself. I'm not sure I even fall in love. Not like the way other people do. How's that for something to admit?
Graham: Well, like I said, Most Interesting Girl Award.
Amanda: I'm gonna try to see that as a compliment.
Graham: You should. Absolutely.

Amanda: Who cut out all of those beautiful stars?
Sophie: We did.
Olivia: The three musketeers.

Graham: So you were totally great.
Amanda: Yeah, this is a bitch.

Graham: Bad?
Amanda: Weird. Kissing a total stranger.
Graham: Really? I do it all the time.

Ethan: Look at me. I'm down here sweating like a pig. And look at you. You're the only woman on the face of the earth that breaks up with her boyfriend and doesn't even shed a tear. I mean, that's gotta mean something, right?
Amanda: Why does it bug you so much that I can't cry?

Roy Miller: I warned you about the plane.
June Havens: No you didn't!
Roy Miller: I said that some things happen for a reason.
June Havens: That's not a warning! A warning is, June, if you get on this plane, you will fucking die!

Miller: Some people are gonna come looking for you now.
June Havens: Why?
Miller: They'll tell you I'm mentally unstable and violent and dangerous and it will all sound very convincing.
June Havens: I'm already convinced.

June Havens: The pilots are dead!
Miller: Yeah, they've been shot.
June Havens: By who?
Miller: By me. No, actually, I shot the first pilot then he accidentally shot the second pilot. It's just one of those things.

Jude: The conservatives are effective. They do things. All we do is buy animal-friendly mascara.

Luke: People disappear all of the time.
Jude: Especially in Iowa. We probably saved him from an alien abduction.

Sara Fitzgerald: Oh my God, you're good. You're really good. You know, I've seen your commercials, right? I mean, who hasn't? And I always thought that you were some sort of headline-seeking hack. But you have real talent. You almost had me believing that you cared about Anna.
Campbell Alexander: Funny, I was about to say the same thing to you.

Carly Whitten: We got played by the same guy. Do you want vodka or tequila?

Carly Whitten: You wrecked two marriages!
Lydia: One of them was mine, so that doesn't count.

Fiona: Wait! Where are you going? The exit's over there.
Shrek: Well, I have to save my ass.
Fiona: What kind of knight are you?
Shrek: One of a kind.

Donkey: Hi, Princess!
Princess Fiona: It talks!
Shrek: Yeah, it's getting him to shut up that's the trick.