Quotes from Amy Poehler movies and TV shows

Sadness: You could get lost in there!
Joy: Think positive!
Sadness: Okay, I'm positive you will get lost in there.

Joy: All these facts and opinions look the same. I can't tell them apart.
Bing Bong: Happens to me all the time. Don't worry about it.

Maura Ellis: I don't wear thongs. I have a very fussy taint.

Kate Ellis: I wish being gay was a choice, because I always did like that shorts and boots look.
Maura Ellis: Yeah I dunno, for me the deal breaker might be the eating of the pussy.
Kate Ellis: Oh really? 'Cause for me, it would just be the fucking unbearable amount of talking.

Maura Ellis: Blue? What would possess a person to paint stained wood blue? What, were you raised on a tugboat?

Maura Ellis: I've been thinking.
Kate Ellis: Why?

Maura Ellis: How can one person have two colonoscopy stories?

Maura Ellis: Can I borrow me your bathroom? Number one only.

Molly: I love fiction books. Do you?
Eggbert: No, they're not real.

Molly: I don't know Tiffany but she sounds like a stupid bitch.

Molly: Can I ask you a question: how do you sleep at night?
Joel: I usually jerk off and then sleep pretty soundly.