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Dinner for Four / Phoebe Skips - S4-E5

Rhonda: She asked you to do WHAT to my Caprini cardigan?
Lila: Snip the tags out?
[Helga grabs Lila].
Helga: Lila, what are you doing? You're not supposed to ask her!
Lila: I just didn't feel right about destroying Rhonda's personal property... without getting her permission first. It seemed, well, ever so wrong.
Helga: Yeah, well, guess what? You're ever so FIRED!

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The Aptitude Test / Oskar Gets a Job - S3-E9

Suzie: I gave you 100 dollars two days ago.
Oskar: Suzie, you know I had to use it to pay the phone bill.
Suzie: Oskar, they cut off our phone service this morning.
Oskar: I know, it's a terrible mistake. We should sue.
Suzie: Oh, Oskar, that just doesn't make any sense.
Oskar: Tell me about it. So, can I have the 50 dollars?
Suzie: I don't have 50 dollars, we've already spent my paycheck this week.
Oskar: What about your overtime?
Suzie: I work 20 hours a week overtime already, how many more hours do you want me to work?
Oskar: How about 25?
Suzie: OSKAR!

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Helga: Move it, football head!

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The Aptitude Test / Oskar Gets a Job - S3-E9

Interviewer: You're kidding, right?
Arnold: No, it's not a joke, he really wants to work.
Interviewer: He's 38 years old, he's never had a job, and you expect me to hire him... as an X-ray technician? [Laughs].

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The Beeper Queen / Oskar Can't Read? - S4-E4

Oskar: Kitty, kitty, kitty. Do you want to pet the kitty? Yes, I want to pet the kitty. Pet, pet, pet. Look everybody, I'm petting the kitty.

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Dinner for Four / Phoebe Skips - S4-E5

Helga: I can't believe I told them the truth, and I wound up washing dishes.
Arnold: Come on, don't you feel better that you did the right thing?
Helga: No, not really.
Arnold: I think you do.
Helga: No, I don't, Arnold.
Arnold: You know Helga, I think what you did is pretty sophisticated.
Helga: Really?
Arnold: Yeah.
[Arnold sprays Helga with water and winks at her].
Helga: Oh, just shut up and rinse.

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Weird Cousin / Baby Oskar - S4-E11

Suzie: You expect everyone else to take care of you.
Oskar: Oh come on, I don't expect everyone else to take care of me, just you.
Suzie: Oh, Oskar!

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The Aptitude Test / Oskar Gets a Job - S3-E9

Arnold: Look, you wanted me to help you get a job, and I did.
Oskar: Yeah, you did. Good for you. [To Grandma] I'll be right back, my beautiful Fatima!
Arnold: Your first day on the job, you said you had the stomach flu, and today, you said you had a bad back.
Oskar: What's your point?
Arnold: My point is, are you going to have another excuse tomorrow, or are you going to do your own job instead of making me do it for you?
Oskar: Arnold, of course I'm going to do my job, don't worry.
Arnold: Good.
Oskar: But I can't tomorrow, it's a national holiday from my old country, I forgot to tell you.
Arnold: That's it! I'm tired of all your excuses!
Oskar: Arnold, you seem a little cranky, maybe you should take a nap.
Arnold: Look, I only helped you because you said you were desperate. You said you wanted to change. I guess I was wrong. Mr. Kokoshka, I'm sorry, but you are a huge loser!

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