Stu Price: That's my grandma's ring. She made it all the way through the holocaust with that thing. It's legit.
Stu Price: That is not Doug.
Mr. Chow: What're you talking about, Willis? That him!
Stu Price: No, I'm sorry, Mr. Chow, that's not our friend, he... It's...
Alan Garner: The Doug we're looking for is a white.
Stu Price: I look like a nerdy hillbilly!
Stu Price: So, uh, are you sure you're qualified to be taking care of that baby?
Alan Garner: What are you talking about? I've found a baby before.
Stu Price: You found a baby before? Where?
Alan Garner: Coffee Bean.
Sid Garner: Don't let Alan drive, because there's something wrong with him.
Doug Billings: Understood.
Sid Garner: Oh, and Phil either. I don't like him.
Alan Garner: It was a real pleasure meeting you.
Melissa: Fuck off!
Alan Garner: I'm thinking about getting my bartender's license.
Melissa: Suck my dick.
Alan Garner: No, thank you.
Phil Wenneck: Whose fucking baby is that?
Stu Price: Alan, are you sure you didn't see anyone else in the suite?
Alan Garner: Yeah, I checked all the rooms... No one's there. Check its collar or something.
Stu Price: Don't let the beard fool you. He's a child!
Doug Billings: He was a bartender, and he didn't even come inside her
Stu Price: That's a good thing, she's afraid of semen.
Sid Garner: Now remember, what happens in Vegas stays, in Vegas. Except herpes, that shit will come back with you.
Stu Price: Here's something I would like to remind you two of: our best friend Doug is probably face down in a ditch right now with a meth head butt-fucking his corpse!
Alan Garner: That's highly unlikely.
Officer Franklin: Not you, fat Jesus.
Alan Garner: I have a question. You probably get this a lot, but this isn't the real Caesar's Palace, is it?
Stu Price: Ew! Alan, did you just eat sofa pizza?
Alan Garner: Yes.
Mr. Chow: It's funny because he's fat!
Alan Garner: No, it's a satchel... Indiana Jones has one.
Alan Garner: Hey what's that on your arm?
Stu Price: Oh my God - Phil, you were in the hospital last night.
Phil Wenneck: Yeah, I guess I was.
Alan Garner: Are you okay?
Alan Garner: It would be so cool if I could breast-feed.
Mr. Chow: So long, gay boys!
Doug Billings: Tracy did mention we shouldn't let him gamble. Or drink too much.
Phil Wenneck: Jesus, he's like a gremlin. Comes with instructions and shit.
Answer: His name is Chuck Pacheco and he's an actor/director. He played Chuckie in the movie Alpha Dog.