The Monster Squad (1987)

Horace: Wolfman's got nards.

Phoebe: Come on. Don't be chicken shit.

Patrick: Aww, man, fat kid farted.

Sean: Don't kick the church, it's religious.
Rudy: Locked is what it is.
Sean: Alright then, we'll just have to do it out here.
Horace: Oh real religious, Sean, why don't we just do it at Burger King?

Sean: Rudy, find some silver bullets.
Rudy: Where the hell am I suppose to find silver bullets?
Sean: I don't know. Fat kid get a map, find Shadowbrook Road.
Horace: What do I look in the index for "big scary mansion?"

Detective Sapir: That's it, Del. This case is too hard, man, Let's be firemen instead.
Det. Del Crenshaw: I'm glad you're gettin' major laughs outta this, Rich. The problem is two-thousand year-old dead guys do not get up and walk away by themselves.

Horace: No, Sean! Scary house! Real monsters! Us, twelve years old, remember?
Sean: Midnight, end of the world, remember?

Sean: If we pull this off, I'm gonna shit.

Opening Text: One hundred years before this story begins... it was a time of darkness in Transylvania... A time when Dr. Abraham Van Helsing... and a small band of freedom fighters... conspired to rid the world of vampires and monsters... and to save mankind from the forces of eternal evil... They blew it.

Eugene: Creature stole my twinkie.

Frankenstein: Bogus! Bogus.

Eugene: Is she a versgin?
Scary German Guy: Yes, she can do it.
Patrick: She can't read, she's five years old.
Scary German Guy: I'll help her.

Dracula: [to a five year old] Give me the amulet, you bitch!

TonyPH