Morris Buttermaker: Is that a baggy full of bacon?
Mike Engelberg: I'm on Atkins.
Morris Buttermaker: Baseball's hard, guys. I mean, it really is. You can love it but, believe me, it don't always love you back. It's kind of like dating a German chick, you know?
Tanner Boyle: My dad says the only people who put ketchup on hot dogs are mental patients, and Texans.
Timothy Lupus: Sometimes bird poo tastes like candy.
Morris Buttermaker: Now, my old coach used to say a tie is like kissing your sister, but the way we've been playing, it's more like kissing a really hot stepsister.
