Jennifer Rogers: I've never been to a home-made funeral before.
Capt. Wiles: I have... it's my third. All in one day.
Miss Graveley: How old do you think I am young man?
Sam Marlowe: Hmm... fifty. How old do you think you are?
Miss Graveley: Forty-two! I can show you my birth certificate.
Sam Marlowe: I'm afraid you're going to have to show more than your birth certificate to convince a man of that.
Arnie: How come you never came over to visit me before?
Sam Marlowe: I didn't know you had such a pretty mother, Arnie.
Arnie: You think she's pretty, you should see my slingshot.
Capt. Wiles: Coming home from Madagascar once we had a fireman on board who hit his head on a brick wall and died two days later.
Sam Marlowe: Where did he find a brick wall on board a ship?
Capt. Wiles: Mmmm... that's what we always wondered.
Sam Marlowe: All right. If I had my choice, I'd rather be thought a murderer than proved one.
Sam Marlowe: Didn't know you had such a pretty mother, Arnie.
Arnie: You think she's pretty, you should see my slingshot.
Sam Marlowe: You're not supposed to bury bodies whenever you find them. It makes people suspicious.
Sam Marlowe: I think, Captain Wiles, we're tangled up in a murder.
Capt. Wiles: Murder. If it's murder who dunnit?
Sam Marlowe: Who did it?
Capt. Wiles: That's what I say, whodunnit?
Captain: Marriage is a good way to spend the winter.
Jennifer Rogers: It's too late to say prayers. Besides, wherever he's going, he's there now. Bye, Harry. I forgive you.
Capt. Wiles: Blessed are they who expect nothing, for they shall not be disappointed.
