Reporter: Mr. Swope, did you sleep with your wife before you were married?
Putney Swope: Not a wink.
Mr. Victrola Cola: I got this great window cleaner. Cleans good and doesn't streak. Smells bad, though. Cleans good, but smells bad.
Putney Swope: As a window cleaner, forget it. Put soybeans in it and market it as a soft drink in the ghetto. We'll put a picture of a rhythm and blues singer on the front and call it Victrola Cola.
Putney Swope: Rockin' the boat's a drag. You gotta sink the boat.
Photographer: I'll do it for nothing - I need the work.
Putney Swope: I can get anybody for nothing. Take a walk.
Mr. Syllables: How many syllables, Mario? How many syllables, Mario? How many syllables, Mario? How many syllables, Mario?
Myron X: Putney is confusing originality with obscenity.
Mrs. Swope: I'm gonna bend your johnson, Swope.
Putney Swope: I'm ready.
Commercial Narrator: Jim Keranga of Watts, California is eating a bowl of Ethereal Cereal, the heavenly breakfast. Jim, did you know that Ethereal has 25% more riboflavin than any other cereal on the market? Ethereal also packs the added punch of.002 ESP units of pectin.
Jim Keranga: No shit.
