Josef Grul: Hey, Jamaica! Watch out for Number Twelve turn. Scary, ja?
Derice Bannock: What's his problem?
Irv: He's Josef Grul. He's one of the best drivers in the world.
Yul Brenner: Yeah, he's one of the biggest assholes in the world, too.
Sanka Coffie: So what are we gunna name the sled?
Junior Bevill: How about "Tallulah?"
Sanka Coffie: Tallulah! Hahaha! Tallulah! Sounds like a 2 dollar hooker! Where you come up with that?
Junior Bevill: That's my mother's name.
Irv: I told the owner of the bar that these guys were mentally disturbed, so he's not going to press any charges.
Sanka Coffie: Yeah! Sled god does it again.
Irv: Just shut up, Sanka.
Derice Bannock: "Cool Runnings" means "Peace Be The Journey."
Irwin Blitzer: Gentlemen, a bobsled is a simple thing.
Man: Yeah, so's a toilet.
Derice Bannock: Hey, you can pee now.
Sanka Coffie: Um too late.
Sanka Coffie: Greetings, sled god.
Yul Brenner: How about I beat your butt right now?
Sanka Coffie: How about I draw a line down the middle of your head so it looks like a butt?
Sanka Coffie: I am feeling very Olympic today, how about you?
Sanka Coffie: Hey Derice! Ya dead?
Derice Bannock: No mon, I'm not dead. We have to finish the race.
Sanka Coffie: So, let's talk about this billsled team.
Derice Bannock: No, bobsled team.
Sanka Coffie: Whoever. Now, about the Weaties box. I'm gunna be on it myself, right?
Derice Bannock: No, mon, you gunna be on it with me.
Sanka Coffie: You mean winter, as in ICE?
Derice Bannock: Maybe.
Sanka Coffie: You mean winter, as in igloos and Eskimos and penguins and ICE?
Derice Bannock: Possibly.
Sanka Coffie: See ya.
Derice Bannock: Where you going?
Sanka Coffie: I'm going to take a hot bath, I'm getting cold just thinking about all this ICE.
Yul Brenner: Look in the mirror, and tell me what you see.
Junior Bevill: I see Junior.
Yul Brenner: You see Junior? Well, let me tell you what I see. I see pride! I see power! I see a bad-ass mother who don't take no crap off nobody.
British Official: We must also be concerned about the potential for embarrassment.
Irv: Oh, pardon me. I didn't realise that four black guys in a bobsled could make you blush.
Irv: Our Father, who art in Calgary, Bobsled be thy name. Thy kingdom come, gold medals won, on Earth as it is in Turn Seven. With Liberty and Justice for Jamaica and Haile Selassie. Amen.
Irv: Oh, yeah, just one little drawback to this delightful winter sport. The high-speed crash. Ooh! That hurt. Always remember, your bones will not break in a bobsled. No, no, no. They shatter.
Momma Coffie: Everybody shut up! My boy's on TV.
Irv: Winning a bobsled race is about one thing: the push-start. Now I know you dainty, little track-stars think you're fast. Well, heh, let's see how fast you are when you push a six-hundred pound sled. Now a respectable start-time is five-point-seven seconds. If you speed demons can't whip off an even six flat, you have a better chance of becoming a barbershop quartet.
Answer: The real Jamaican team performed poorly throughout the Olympics and did not finish.
Greg Dwyer