Harold Smith: Guard, protect and cherish your land, for there is no afterlife for a place that started out as Heaven. Charles M. Russell, Montana, 1926.
Chiun: In Korea, door handles do not break.
Chiun: I do not wear glasses so that I may see. I wear glasses so that I may see... more.
Gen. Scott Watson: So listen to this, George. Lyman four-putts. Four-putts, mind you. I thought he'd have a stroke. And I'd have claimed it if he had.
Chiun: You did not ask to be white. So perhaps that is not your fault. You did not ask to be here. Perhaps that is not your fault, either.
Remo Williams: You know, Chiun, you're a real pain in the ass.
Chiun: That is because it is the shortest route to your brain.
Conn MacCleary: Didn't I tell you? We don't use that 'bang bang' stuff. Your mind and your body become your weapon. That's what your new pal Chiun is going to teach you.
Chiun: Karate, Kung Fu, Ninjitsu - they are but shadows. Sinanju is the Sun.
Chiun: The trained mind does not need a watch. Watches are a confidence trick invented by the Swiss.
Chiun: Professional assassination... is the highest form of public service.
Remo Williams: Are you hurt?
Chiun: No. When you approach middle age, there is a tendency toward bruising, my son.
Remo Williams: What? What did you call me?
Chiun: I called you a clumsy oaf! You drive like a monkey in heat.
Conn MacCleary: All I can promise you is terror for breakfast, pressure for lunch, and aggravation for sleep. Your vacations will be two minutes when you're not looking over your shoulder, and if you live to draw a pension, it'll be a miracle.
Remo Williams: Are there any disadvantages?
Conn MacCleary: Hell, I'm lucky I've lasted this long.
Remo Williams: Hey MacCleary, can you dodge bullets?
Conn MacCleary: Only if they come real slow.
Chiun: You move like a pregnant yak. Sit.
