Holly March: Dad, there's like whores here and stuff.
Holland March: Sweetheart, how many times have I told you? Don't say "and stuff." Just say "dad, there are whores here."
Holly March: Well, there's like a ton.
Holland March: Look on the bright side. Nobody got hurt.
Jackson Healy: People got hurt.
Holland March: I'm saying, I think they died quickly, though. So I don't think they got hurt.
Holland March: [Drunk] Hi everyone, I'm Amelia. She's about...dark hair. Answers to...the call of the wild. Just kidding. I forgot her name, but you know, if you see you, just... if you see, let me know, and tell me... tell me my name.
Holland March: Fine. I'm done. Put a fork in me... Don't really put a fork in me.
Holland March: You seen Chet, the projectionist?
Buddy: Yeah, he just left like 10 minutes ago, went for a drink. And you are?
Holland March: In a hurry. Thanks, buddy.
Buddy: How'd you know my name was Buddy?
Jackson Healy: Marriage is buying a house for someone you hate.
Holland March: I work in a cesspool. Sex, more sex. My wife, she used to say I make a living off rumpy-pumpy. Whatever. She was English. I don't know what the fuck it means either.
Holland March: Have you seen this girl? She's got dark hair, her name is Amelia.
Flight Deck Bartender: What's in it for me?
Holland March: He'll stop doing it.
Flight Deck Bartender: Doing what?
[Healy quickly grabs the bartender and smack his head on the bar desk].
Flight Deck Bartender: Ow, fuck!
Holland March: That.
Judith Kuttner: My name is Judith Kuttner. I work for the Department of Justice.
Holland March: OK. Well, that explains basically nothing.
Holly March: Do you by any chance know a girl named Amelia? I think she did a film with Sid Shattuck.
Young Porn Queen: Don't know her, but Sid's gross. He told me this one chick was his sister, right, and then a few days later I walk in on them and they're all doing anal and stuff.
Holly March: Don't say, "and stuff." Just say, "They're doing anal."
Holland March: [to Holly] You're supposed to be at Jessica's.
Jessica: Yeah, sorry, Mr. March. My sister kicked us out. She's having a guy over.
Holland March: Your sister's such a slut.
Jessica: Yeah, I know.
Holland March: Got a cool ad though. I made your head small because I know you're sensitive about how big it is.
Holland March: You know who else was just following orders? Adolf Hitler.
Holly March: You beat people up and charge money?
Jackson Healy: Yeah.
Holland March: Sad, isn't it?
Holly March: How much would you charge to beat up my friend Janet?
Holland March: What?
Jackson Healy: How much you got?
Holly March: Thirty bucks.
Holland March: That's good, this conversation is over.
Holland March: Munich.
Jackson Healy: What?
Holland March: Guy without his balls. A Munich.
Jackson Healy: Munich, is a city in Germany, Munich. München.
Holland March: You sure?
Jackson Healy: My dad was stationed there.
Holland March: Right. Hitler only had one ball.
Holland March: So you're telling me you made a porno where the plot is the point?
Holland March: Got a cool ad though. I made your head small because I know you're sensitive about how big it is.
Holly: You're the world's worst detectives.
