Max Cartwright: You just fucked with the wrong virgin.
Duncan: The Bathematicians were so excited when I told them that Amanda Cartwright's daughter was my sister's best friend.
Gertie Michaels: Stepsister.
Duncan: Why would you say that? That's so hurtful.
Vicki Summers: Where do they keep the chainsaws here?
Paula: What?
Vicki Summers: We might wanna find out, right? Where they keep them? Because you never know when you might need a chainsaw.
Paula: Why do we need a chainsaw for a slumber party?
Vicki Summers: I am glad that you die.
Kurt: What?
Duncan: Nothing! What she meant to say was that we all die eventually. Technically, we start dying the moment we're born.
Gertie Michaels: Maybe we're dead and this is Heaven.
Vicki Summers: This can't be Heaven. Max is here and she's Jewish.
Gertie Michaels: Oh, right. Well, maybe it's Jewish Heaven.
Nancy: Am I really gonna die?
Max Cartwright: Yeah.
Nancy: So, I guess I never grow up or fall in love or have kids. I had this dream that when I graduated college, I would meet a guy and we'd have a baby. A girl. And if she ever needed me, I would do anything for her - anything. I would've made a really great mom.
Max Cartwright: The best.
Kurt: Oh, what's up, funbags?
Vicki Summers: Funbags? Right. Yay, feminism.
Max Cartwright: Vicki, you don't have to die.
Vicki Summers: I'm the mean girl in the 80s horror movie and we're past the midpoint, so, you know, I'd say that I'd overstayed my welcome.
Kurt: Hey, where's you guys' suitcases? Because honestly, you're clothes, they're disgusting.
Vicki Summers: Says the guy in the crop top.
Duncan: If this is a dream, then there's a very strong chance that my dad's gonna come up to us naked and offer us some pecan pie. But don't take any. It is not pecan pie.
Tina: Oooh, I love legends! Loch Ness, Bigfoot, Bon Jovi... all of 'em.
