A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

Anna: You're a good sheep farmer!
Albert: Oh my god, please! I suck at sheep. Louise was right, I can't keep track of them. There was a sheep in the whorehouse the last week.
Anna: Really?
Albert: Yeah. Wandered in there, and then when I went to pick it up, somehow it had made 20 dollars.

George Stark: You're late!
Albert: For what?
George Stark: Fair enough.

Edward: Hey, dude, you really shouldn't drink and horse.

Albert Stark: That is our Mayor. He is dead. He's been lying there, dead, for three days. No one has done a thing. Not moved him, not looked into his death, not even replaced him with a temporary appointee. For the last three days, the highest ranking official in our town has been a dead guy. Oh! Look at that! Look at that! Wolves are dragging the body away as if to illustrate my point! Bye! Bye, Mr. Mayor! Bye! Have fun becoming wolf shit. Bye!

Bishop73

Albert: I'm not the hero. I'm the guy in the crowd making fun of the hero's shirt; that's who I am.

Edward: This is my first vagina.
Ruth: You've never seen one?
Edward: No I feel like I should have a piece of cake or something. It's, uhh it's...it's that, right?
Ruth: Oh yeah it's this, it's like from here to here
Edward: Oh.
Ruth: But this is just the outside, there's these folds.
Edward: Okay, I'm gonna close the bible now.