Omi: It started with the wind, on a cold night, much like this. It was almost Christmas, but this Christmas was darker, less cheerful. But I still believed in Santa, in magic and miracles, and the hope that we could find joy again. But our village had given up on miracles, and on each other. They had forgotten the spirit of Christmas, the sacrifice of giving, and my family was no different. I tried to help them to believe again, but we were no longer the loving family I remembered. They too had given up. And eventually, so did I. And for the first time, I didn't wish for a miracle. I wished for them to go away. A wish I would come to regret. And that night, in the darkness of a howling blizzard... I got my wish. I knew Saint Nicholas was not coming this year. Instead, it was a much darker, more ancient spirit. The shadow of Saint Nicholas. It was... Krampus. And as he had for thousands of years, Krampus came not to reward, but to punish, not to give, but to take. He, and his helpers. I could only listen as they dragged my family into the underworld, knowing that I would be next. But Krampus did not take me that night. He left me, as a reminder of what happens when hope is lost, when belief is forgotten, and the Christmas spirit...dies.
Milo: It's too late! You were supposed to kill them all.
Edith Cushing: You're monsters. Both of you.
Lucille Sharpe: Funny. That's the last thing Mother said, too.
Louis: Bitch, you barkin' up the wrong fucking tree. I'm from Oakland, ho. I know two ghetto ass hoes when I see 'em.
Fin Shepard: How can they survive in space?
April Shepard: How can they survive in a tornado?
Elise Rainier: Loving someone is just delayed pain, isn't it?
Sheriff Franklin Hunt: Say goodbye to my wife. I'll say hello to yours.
Emily: You know, I've heard of spirit photography before, but I've never actually seen it in person.
Kristen: Why didn't you protect him?
Reese Houser: Don't say his name.
Conductor: You a film prodigy? You know, I used to be a pretty good actor.
Daughter: Oh, my camera light's blinking.
Conductor: I am disgraced, impeached and baffled here.
Daughter: Battery pack is low.
Conductor: Pierced to the soul with slander's venomed spear.
Daughter: Oh, oh, unfortunately, I'm just going to have to shut the camera off.
Tina: Oooh, I love legends! Loch Ness, Bigfoot, Bon Jovi... all of 'em.
Victor Von Frankenstein: Oh my brother Henry forgive me. I have wronged you, for this is not life. This is not life. You are not live. Live.
James: Just be glad you don't have what Samantha had got.
Riley: Why, what'd she have?
James: Well, you know, they're not really telling me much but my buddy over at the coroner's office said it's some kind of necrotic STD - it's some really gnarly shit.
Riley: Shit?
Riley: Yeah... well you didn't fuck her did you?
James: Neh... What? No.
Burt Gummer: That's right. Fly right into my crosshairs, you fire-farting son of a bitch.
Bella: Oh please, like this cabin in the woods shit really happens.
Ben: All right, scouts. Let's kick some zombie ass.
Dr. Brooke Powell: Why do you do that?
Carrigan Burke: What?
Dr. Brooke Powell: You tell your old war stories and you make yourself sound like an old man.
Carrigan Burke: Comes with the territory. We age in dog years.