Lou: Tab Lazenby. So you're the new fat cat at meows. And by that, I mean you should really switch to skimmed milk.
Tab Lazenby: Oh, Lou, so catty. I see they've given you the key to the executive dumpster. All that butt-sniffing finally paid off.
Mr. Goodman: The piranha hunt in packs. The first bite draws blood, blood draws the pack.
Rocha: Each dog licks his own dick.
Claire Foster: Honey, If I'm gonna get whacked off, I...
[Phil laughs.]
Claire Foster: What are you smiling about?
Phil Foster: No, no, we might get bumped off. We're not going to get whacked off.
Claire Foster: I think we are!
Markus Kane: Joey. Joey. The box, with its implications of rigidity and squareness, symbolizes unimaginative thinking and painful frustration.
David Dutton: Don't ask me why I can't leave without my wife and I won't ask you why you can.
Arjan van Diemen: During the war, me and my men would cut off the trigger fingers of the bravest British officers we captured - only the bravest, mind, the ones most worthy of respect. Do you understand that? That's what I did to people I respected.
Kereama: Doesn't leave much hope for me then, does it?
Arjan van Diemen: Hope kills fools like you every day.
Lars: We've located the nest of the vampires deep within this abandoned slaughterhouse. It's also haunted... by cannibal pirates. It's built on an ancient Indian burial ground... where they used to burn witches.
Kara: Oh, my gosh. That was so much fun. I'm going to love being an Earth girl.
Clark Kent: You've certainly got the shopping part down.
Orlov: The name of the agent is Evelyn Salt.
Evelyn Salt: My name is Evelyn Salt.
Orlov: Then you are a Russian spy.
Big Ronnie: Apology not fucking accepted.
Johnny Knoxville: Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville, Welcome to Jackass.
Narrator: Space stretches into infinity. Countless stars die as others are born. And thus, space is alive.
Parrot: I love you, Mr Maynard.
Victor Maynard: What the fuck?