Tanzie Marchetta: You caught me. I guess that, like, makes you my hero.
Lyle: Son, I want you to have this. I want you to have my cock ring.
Sam: I'm slightly tone deaf, but Matt's always said if I wasn't tone deaf, I'd have a very good voice.
Matt Saunders: Hannah.
Vaughn Haige: Oh, man, I think she's dead. Time to start the grieving process.
Woody: Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more lovely and... temperate. Rough winds... blah blah blah... There's something in there I can't remember. And, uh... yadda yadda yadda. I'm sorry, I... I'm no Shakespeare. My guess, Romeo wasn't much of a quarterback either, right?
Girl: Do you like this shop? I buy all my clothes here. Good for me, you know. Cheap. Nice fashion.
Jake Huard: Before you achieve you must believe.
Carl Peterson: You get your first ten-speed bike, and suddenly you're Lance Armstrong.
Dupree: Let's leave Lance out of this. Guy's done more with one testicle than you and I could do with three.
Emperor Ping: What I do not give, you must never take by force.
Chloe: Damn it. I am trying to fuck your best friend here. Give me a little cooperation please.
Marilyn Dean: Discover a path... that doesn't lead back here.
Brett Dolan: When someone hands you your dreams you take it. You don't ask questions.
Nora: I would.
Brett Dolan: You think you would.
Ashley Albright: Here we go again. Maggie you've known me since Seventh Grade, right? Okay, will you please tell her that I'm not lucky.
Maggie: Well, you were voted prom queen at Franklin High.
Ashley Albright: So?
Maggie: We went to Jefferson.
Eli: I've got two chicks back at my place who think I'm Moby.