Adrian Monk: Unless I'm wrong, which, you know, I'm not.
Elaine "The Pain" Boyack: I'm very good with children, it's just, just that Tracy Beaker's not very good at being a child.
DCS Christopher Foyle: The uniform suits you.
Andrew Foyle: Thanks. I wish I could say the same about your dressing gown.
Lt. Horatio Caine: You're evil, you enjoy death, and I hope you enjoy your own.
Ruth Evershed: Shall I hit him again Adam?
Adam Carter: Only if you want to.
Reverend Purdy: I destroy my enemy when I make him my friend.
Kerry: Like Oh My God, my name's Bridget and I can't believe how much my head shakes when I talk.
Dr. Andrew Brown: You might wanna work on your bedside manner Ephram. You just cleared the room.
Ephram: Yeah, I noticed that, thank you.
Delia: Set the table doofus, if you can even do that.
Det. William Moreland: You seem awfully happy today.
Det. Ray Cole: I got laid last night.
Det. William Moreland: Oh yeah? Your asshole still hurt?
Claudette Wyms: Oooooh. Busting crime one blunt at a time.
Vic: George, I'd like to congratulate you.
George: We don't know yet if my mom is going to jail.
Vic: I meant your daughter going to college.
Allison Clarke: My grandfather used to tell my mom that kids should never have to worry about anything more serious than baseball. Everything you need to know is there. It has success and failure, moments when you come together and moments where you stand alone. And it has an ending. Not a clock, like in other sports, but an ending. And that, my grandfather said to my mom, is as close as a kid should have to come to that sort of thing.
Aurelia: If you marry Cinna's daughter you will be identified with the popular party whether you wish or not.
Caesar: I wish it.
Aurelia: They are not our people.
Cousin: You wish to join with farmers and hagglers and beggars?
Caesar: Our family itself did not exactly drop straight out of Jupiter's ass.
Narrator: You're traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound, but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. You are entering the Twilight Zone.
Jack Hudson: Yes Miles, if you're right, you can say you told me so. And I know you will in that special way that makes us all love you so.
Jack Malone: According to the groom, she was an angel.
Martin: I guess love is blind. And deaf. And very, very dumb.
Jack Malone: Spoken like a true romantic.