Larry: Dude, did you piss your pants?
Bret: Come on, we got to go! We got to get out of here! They're coming.
Randy: Looks like the only thing going is you, dude.
Pinhead: All problems solved? Not so simple, I'm afraid.
Ben Carpenter: Torpedoes away motherfucker.
Jeffrey Dahmer: You know what the cross was, don't you?
Rodney: Yeah, where Jesus died, right?
Jeffrey Dahmer: A torture device... used to kill criminals. So when you pray to it, it's like praying to an electric chair, or a guillotine.
Rod: I've been waiting for you.
Heather: How long have you been here?
Rod: Not long... Five thousand years.
Heather: Okay, that's long.
Trailer Trash Thumb: A lot of kids were disappearing in the woods, all mysterious like. And people thought it might be... David Copperfield. In a stage show, he took a llama and put it in a box. He closed the box and spinned it around. He opened up the box. There's no llama! And you don't see that every day, there's a llama here, llama gone. Llama, no llama. Just chills you to the bones.
Justin: Yeah, he's a professor... of being A DOG! oooh, faced... Scratch moded.