Julius Ceasar: When Alexander the Great was ten years younger than I am today, he had conquered the entire civilized world.
Vercingetorix: At your age, he was dead.
Julius Ceasar: All the more reason to hurry.
Ray: I ought to go and see Sue. Y'know? While I'm still... before... Mind you, I haven't spoken to Sue for... I can't think how many years. You can't blame her for that though. Not really. That was more me, I think. I just stopped writing one day. Y'know how it is... things just stop. Then it seems too long to start 'em again.
Nathan Conrad: Does she have a new hiding place that I don't know about?
Aggie Conrad: Probably... she's been running around the house like a wild cat all week.
Iris Murdoch: People have obsessions and fears and passions which they don't admit to. I think every character is interesting and has extremes. It's the novelist privilege to see how odd everyone is.
Helen: Some people smoke pot, some people bungee jump, some people chant. What do you do to be happy?
Jessica: Nothing. I'm not.
Charlie Chaplin: Did you really believe I would stay away?
Marion Davies: No, but you should really believe I didn't want you here.
Ian: You know when you're with someone there's only a very short time when you can really give each other things for free... with neither of you having to ask. Because later on all you do is make demands of each other. Perhaps the only difference between her and all the rest is that she's asking you for nothing.
Rita: I just don't know what to call you: retarded, mentally retarded, mentally handicapped, mentally disabled, intellectually handicapped, intellectually disabled, developementally disabled.
Sam: You can call me Sam.
Mrs. Berman: What do you think, Elwood? Do you like the new chair?
Ray Elwood: Can you sit on it, ma'am?
Mrs. Berman: No, of course you can't sit on it, it's an antique.
Ray Elwood: Oh, well, it's very nice.
Carmen Naranjo: Do you know why we clink glasses before drinking?.. It's so that all the five senses are involved. We touch the glass. We smell the drink. We see its color. We taste it. Hearing is the only sense that doesn't participate unless we create it.
Bob: What do you play?
Romulus Ledbetter: My skull.
Jack: I thought I was disconnected from everything, for a long time I'd been leading an unstable, risky life. I'd hung out with all sorts of people, nothing could shock me anymore. I was not impressed by the unexpected, I'd always been able to handle it. That night however, when I saw Claire again, I just fell to pieces. I thought I'd managed to forget her, I'd overcome the pain and remorse which made me want to see her again.
Carlos: You're crazy.
Nicole: ...and you're beautiful.
Napoleon Bonaparte: I am Napoleon.
Nicole 'Pumpkin' Truchaut: No, you're not Napoleon! I hate Napoleon! He's filled France with widows and orphans! He took my husband! I won't let him take you.
Bobby Kent: You call that going out?
Alice 'Ali' Willis: I don't know.
Bobby Kent: I call it a fucking blowjob! A damn fine blowjob, but a blowjob all the same.
Jezzie Flannigan: Dr. Cross, Agent Ben Devine. Agent Devine is security systems supervisor.
Ben Devine: Well, for now. We're going to be thrown to the wolves, as soon as they find Megan Rose dead in a ditch.
Alex Cross: Now what makes you so sure that's what's going to happen?
Ben Devine: Me getting fired or the girl in a ditch? Sorry. I'm having a pessimistic day.
Billy: It's women that's shaped like leaves, and men fall.
Cyrus: Apparently, stubbornness is an ingrained family trait.
Rudy Cafmeyer: It beats a messiah complex any day.