Detective Jojima: My father was a small-village cop in a town where nothing ever happened. He just hung around like a scarecrow, until he died. But like they say - even a scarecrow keeps away the sparrows.
Ted: He wanted to kill you. That's two people in one day who wanted to actually kill you.
Allegra: I've never been more popular.
Tony Greco: You got me walking around a parking lot squirting at people.
Det. Briggs: So you kids are, what? Some kind of mod squad or something?
Ghost Dog: Even if one's head were to be suddenly cut off, he should be able to do one more action with certainty. With martial valor, if one becomes like a revengeful ghost and shows great determination, though his head is cut off, he should not die.
Michael Felgate: Well at least tell me what his restaurant is called, then I can sneak in, in a beard or something.
Gina Vitale: It's called The La Trattoria.
Michael Felgate: You mean La Trattoria.
Gina Vitale: No.
Michael Felgate: The La Trattoria means The The Trattoria.
Gina Vitale: I know.
Michael Felgate: Interesting. Look I have to go to the La Bathroom, and I'll be back in a sec.
Harry: Shut the hell up, Francis, or I won't tell anyone where you are, and that would suck for you.
Wayne Wayne Wayne Jr.: The Light is green.
Bryce: I only wanted to get laid, instead I'm getting fucked.