Mavis LaBreche: I need a crap and a nap and I don't need an audience!"
Jerry Fletcher: A good conspiracy is unprovable. I mean, if you can prove it, it means they screwed up somewhere along the line.
Harry Block: Every hooker I ever speak to tells me that it beats the hell out of waitressing. Waitressing's gotta be the worst fucking job in the world.
Anton: I like a man who fights for what he wants. But if you ever mess with me again, I'll rip out your eyes and rape your skull. Excuse my French.
Alex Shaw: I gotta get my girl.
Andy McDermott: Great. Come to Paris and check out les drains.
Helen Holt: There's different kinds of love, darling. Some people you love no matter what, and others you love if the situation is right. To me, the best kind of love is the "no matter what" kind.
John Brown: We were due in at 1.15. You're late.
The Voice: When we are all criminals, who is free?
Nuria: Do you believe in god?
Richard Rietti: Maybe he's the person that he con'd the most. I mean we all do that, you know. We all keep a little bit of ourselves hidden. Cuz if we didn't, well, then we'd have to look at who we are. Who we really are. And if we didn't like it, well, we'd have nobody to blame but ourselves.
Curtis Freley: Everyone who plays the game understands the rules.
Bobby Brahms: So, is he attractive?
Arthur Pape: I'm not supposed to notice these things, but I believe the word is "hot."
Dale Putley: $5,000 in cash. What is he doing with $5,000 in cash?
Jack Lawrence: He stole it.
Dale Putley: Why do you always jump to the worst possible conclusion?
Jack Lawrence: Okay, he won it in a hair-whirl contest.
Lilly: Oh, well at least I was faithful.
Dan: Yeah, you were faithful like a Kennedy was faithful.
Kate Mosley: I don't want to date you, I don't want to marry you, I don't want to have kids with you, I just wanna break up with you.
Boris Pochenko: Do I not intimidate you at all?
Joy Miller: Is one of your sideburns longer than the other?
Celine's Mother: Remember my dear, they only want one thing. Maybe they want it more than once, but it's still only one thing.
Steve: Who says we want what we think we want? We want what we think we are supposed to want? Like what the books tell us to want. And the movies. That's what I wanted. Happy. Happy, happy, happy. Shit like that, ok? We didn't get that. That's the end of that. Ok? It's not... the end of us. It's the end of a dream, that's all. You wake up in the morning, the dream's over, so what? We're still here.
Judy Hensler: Wow, Beaver. You really pulled up your grade. You got a "C."
Beaver Cleaver: Really?
Judy Hensler: Yeah! A "See me after class."