Frau Farbissina: Remember when we froze your semen? You said that if it looked like you weren't coming back we should try to make you a son so that a part of you could live forever?
Dr. Evil: Oh, sure.
Frau Farbissina: Well, after a couple of years, we got a little impatient. Dr. Evil, I want you to meet your son.
Dr. Evil: My son?
Frau Farbissina: Ja. SCOTT!
Paul Serone: They strike, wrap around you. Hold you tighter than your true love. And you get the privilege, of hearing your bones break before the power of embrace causes your veins to explode.
Ian Malcolm: Mommy's very angry.
Harry Dalton: My 9th grade science teacher always said that if you put a frog in boiling hot water, it would jump out. But put it in cold water, and heat it up gradually, it would slowly boil to death.
Nancy: What's that Harry? Your recipe for frog soup?
Harry Dalton: It's my recipe for a disaster.
Conrad: They just fuck you and they fuck you and they fuck you, and then just when you think it's all over, that's when the real fucking starts.
Rasputin: You dare to banish the great Rasputin? By the unholy powers vested in me, I banish you, with a curse! Mark my words: you and your family will die within a fortnight! I will not rest until I see the end of the Romanov line forever.
Ursula's mother: When Lyle returns, this wedding will proceed as planned. If you do anything to upset that, I'll remove your reason for wearing a loincloth.
Zorg: I don't like warriors. Too narrow-minded, no subtlety. And worse, they fight for hopeless causes. Honor? Huh! Honor's killed millions of people, it hasn't saved a single one. Tell you what I do like though. A killer. A dyed-in-the-wool killer. Cold blooded, clean, methodical and thorough.
Hercules: Aren't you...a damsel in distress?
Meg: I'm a damsel. I'm in distress. I can handle this. Have a nice day.
Heinrich Harrer: In this place where time stands still it seems like everything is moving. Including me. I can't say I know where I'm going nor if my bad deeds can be purified. There are so many things I have done that I regret. When I come to a full stop I hope you understand that the distance between us is not as great as it seems.
Agnes Stouffer: If you boys have been throwing any more firecrackers in my pool again, I'm gonna beat your butts until your nose bleeds.
Nick Beam: You don't say "sorry" when you shoot somebody. You can say "sorry" when you step on someone's toe, or accidentally break their glasses, or when you fart while they're eating. you don't SAY you'RE sorry when you shoot someone.
Tiresias: It is the journey itself that makes up your life.
Gordon Szalinski: You are dead meat, mister.
Wayne Szalinski: Gordon, you're three-quarters of an inch tall, now's not the time.
Terek Murad: Here's what I can do! [Kills a man with an ax to the head.] I loved this man like a brother... He was a dear friend and partner to me. So I took no joy in that! But just think... If I could do this to one I love, what could I do to someone I hate? So the American F.B.I declares war on us? Then war it is. (00:09:20)
Postman: The President's name... is Richard Starkey.
Raiden: It cannot be!
Sindel: Oh, but it can and it is!
Martin Barnfield: We're cooking here. This is a stew, a gumbo, a jambalaya, if you will. We're just jamming.
Admiral Roebuck: With all due respect, M, sometimes I don't think you have the balls for this job.
M: Perhaps. But the advantage is, I don't have to think with them all the time.