Pathologist: Some nights there's so much farting and belching in here, it's like being in a ballpark.
Dr. Robert Campbell: I gave Alka-Seltzer to a kid with a belly ache.
Dr. Rae Crane: You did what?
Dr. Robert Campbell: Alka-Seltzer. Cured him in one belch. It was the 'plop-plop'-'fizz-fizz' that really dazzled them.
Ed Leland: Forget about dying. You're not allowed to die.
Linda Voss: I've never seen you look scared before.
Ed Leland: I don't want to loose you. I want to be with you, always.
Linda Voss: Oh God, you wouldn't say that unless you were sure I was gonna die.
Jean-Baptiste: At age ten one doesn't know the world needs to be changed.
Nick Halloway: Now you listen to me, you son of a bitch. I've lost everything but my soul, and you're not going to take that away from me.
Paul Matthews: You look familiar.
Prince Geoffrey: Yeah, I'm the Prince of England.
Daniel: Do you ever feel lost?
Claire Cooper: I invented it. It's mine.
Peter Hoskins: What goes into one, Rita? A Long Island Iced Tea?
Rita Boyle: I'm sorry darling, I've forgotten.
Peter Hoskins: What, do you have it all written down behind the bar or something?
Rita Boyle: I'm on vacation.
Peter Hoskins: So you can't remember a drink recipe for something that I would like to order?
Rita Boyle: Peter, you're doing it again. You take a perfect situation and you pee all over it.
Margaret Schlegel: I deny it's madness.
Henry Wilcox: But you said yourself.
Margaret Schlegel: It's madness when I say it, but not when you say it.
Jobe Smith: I am god here.
Peter: I can think of no finer, fluffier, shinier people to see in the new year with than with your good selves.
Newton Davis: So, what do you think, can you show this to Moseby?
Marty: Ah... you'd better do it.
Newton Davis: Why? He likes you.
Marty: Davis, if I take that in there and Moseby starts carrying on about how brilliant it is... I'm going to take the credit.
Newton Davis: What?
Marty: Mmm hmm.
Newton Davis: You're my friend, where are your ethics?
Marty: My ethics are that I know this about myself, so I'm not going to take this in there and screw you over.
Man: If astrology were true -.
Sam: It is true! It is totally, totally, totally provable, you know?
Female Party Guest: Provable how? From gypsies?
Sam: Well, it's totally logical, right? You know, why wouldn't the position of the planets have an influence on our personalities?