Computer: This ship will self-destruct in exactly ten seconds. Counting down. Ten, nine, eight, six.
President Skroob: Six? What happened to seven?
Computer: Just kidding.
Damon Killian: Hi, cutie-pie. You know, one of us is in deep trouble. You know who I am?
Ben Richards: I've seen you before. You're the asshole on TV.
Damon Killian: That's funny. I was gonna say the same thing about you.
Hitchhiker: Thanks for the ride, lady.
Jack Putter: We've got the chip.
Lt. Tuck Pendleton: All right.
Jack Putter: We're on the way to the lab.
Lt. Tuck Pendleton: All right.
Jack Putter: But I think they put someone in there with you.
Lt. Tuck Pendleton: All... what?
Lex Luthor: Lenny, I've always considered you the Dutch Elm disease in my family tree.
Slappy White: But I was asked to say a couple of words about Harvey. How about "ugly" and "cheap"? Harvey wrote his will on his cock, and his lawyer said it would not stand up in court.
Foul Phil - Suit: My tummy hurts.
Greaser Greg - Suit: What did you eat?
Foul Phil - Suit: Everything.
Greaser Greg - Suit: That makes sense.
George Jetson: That's grass. I read about it in ancient history.
Teri Marshall: Please don't hurt her.
Brian: What happened? You talk numbers, you get romantic. You talk people, you clam up.
Catherine: Just a little miscue, that's all.
Dr. Steele: When I stack 'em, they stay stacked.
Jimmy Garrett: A human pilot would react differently, because a human pilot would know that he's going to die.
Frank Riley: Where'd you get a new picture?
Faye Riley: It's not new. It's fixed.
Frank Riley: Fixed like new?
Faye Riley: They did a good job.
Frank Riley: Who did?
Faye Riley: I ain't saying.
Frank Riley: GOD dammit, faye.
Prisoner: Yo, hippy, what kind of dude are you?