Damon Killian: Hi, cutie-pie. You know, one of us is in deep trouble. You know who I am?
Ben Richards: I've seen you before. You're the asshole on TV.
Damon Killian: That's funny. I was gonna say the same thing about you.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: How tall are you private?
Private: Sir, five foot nine, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Five foot nine, I didn't know they stacked shit that high!
Horace: Wolfman's got nards.
Inspector Todd: Don't think, Axel! It makes my dick itch!
Martin Riggs: You want me to drive?
Roger Murtaugh: No, you're supposed to be suicidal, remember? I'LL drive.
Martin Riggs: Anybody who drives around in this town IS suicidal.
Lincoln Hawk: I always wanted to be a milk shake.
Jack Putter: We've got the chip.
Lt. Tuck Pendleton: All right.
Jack Putter: We're on the way to the lab.
Lt. Tuck Pendleton: All right.
Jack Putter: But I think they put someone in there with you.
Lt. Tuck Pendleton: All... what?
Nathan White: I know about your friend's daughter, Mr. Kersey. I also know that you shot the pusher who sold her the drugs. But I ask you, sir, what about the people behind him? How many children do we let them destroy before we say enough, Mr. Kersey? How many?
Jane: He's a friend of mine from school.
Jeff: A FRIEND?
Lex Luthor: Lenny, I've always considered you the Dutch Elm disease in my family tree.
Chris Lecce: Problem?
Washburn: Oh man, if you can't fry it, I won't eat it.
Captain Barrett Coldyron: It stops felons, judges the crime, and executes sentence. Justice served C.O.D.
Victor Duncan: Why don't you do yourself a favor and go back to your white-bread, suburban, cesspool land while you still have a chance?
Rick Latimer: I can't.
Wild Bill Woodward: I don't like that tiny maggot, I don't like him at all. I mean what is this? Ninjas? Drug pushers? My men being kidnapped and murdered? This is really beginning to get on my tits.