[All ammunition has been confiscated.]
Marine: What are we supposed to use? Harsh language?.
Marion Cobretti: You're a disease, and I'm the cure.
Sheriff Loomis: You listen to me, you son-of-a-bitch! There's a kid out there usin' his car to kill people, not that it's such a big deal since it seems to be your gang he's got it in for... so, if you guys try to take the law into your own hands, and that killer turns up dead, I'm gonna see you all sniffin' cyanide in the Arizona gas chamber.
Nick Alexander: Did anyone ever tell you that you have beautiful legs?
Bartender: Oh, Nick! You can't see them from here.
Nick Alexander: No, but I do have a good imagination. Well, actually I'm just trying to be nice.
Detective Cameron: Corpses that have been dead for twenty-seven years do not get up and go for a walk by themselves.
Remy McSwain: If I can't have you, can I have my gator?
Norman Bates: Conservative clothes never go out of style.
Allie Fox: Everything we need is here. Right here. We can live simply: gardening, beach combing. I'm a changed man, mother. No more chemicals or poisons. If what you want isn't washed up on this beach, you probably don't need it.
Chaz: Hey guy, your fly is open and your Hostess Twinkie is hanging out.
Brett: If you don't get your hand off my leg, you're going to be wiping your ass with a hook next time you take a dump.
Camp Loman: I never heard no talk like that when I was a boy.
Tommy: I went to go cremate Jason but I fucked up.
Deputy Rick: You got that right.
William of Baskerville: The only evidence I see of the antichrist here is everyones desire to see him at work.
Terry: This is great. I'm down on the docks at 1:30 in the morning. I might as well pin a hundred dollar bill to my ass and scream "Victim here! Victim here!"
Mark Kaminsky: Because of you a lot of people are dead. And now it's your turn.
Seth Brundle: I think you're making a mistake. I think you really want to talk to me.
Ronnie: Sorry, I have three other interviews to do before this party's over.
Seth Brundle: Yeah, but they're not working on something that'll change the world as we know it.
Ronnie: They say they are.
Seth Brundle: Yeah, but they're lying. I'm not.
Lipton: I've really admired your stuff since 'Vermin From Venus.'.
Rollie Tyler: You saw that?
Lipton: Yeah.
Andy: That's the one that got him deported from Australia.
Eddie Jillette: I know the secret to Heaven.
Joe Collins: Oh, yeah, what's that?
Eddie Jillette: A girl with freckles on her tits.
Jack Casey: Sometimes things don't happen the way you planned, sometimes you could end up lower than you started.
Sandy: I don't know if you're a detective or a pervert.
Jeffrey: Well, that's for me to know and you to find out.