
Carey Mahoney: What are you in for?
Larvell Jones: I'll show you. [holds a microphone to his mouth and imitates gun fire causing everyone to drop to the floor.]
Desk Officer: GOD DAMN IT, STOP THAT.

Paulie: Nicky don't go for spit. 'Nose' still shines his own shoes, pop. I don't call that success.
Paulie's Father: Oh yeah? And what do you call it?
Paulie: Knowin' how to spend it. I never ordered a Brandy in my life that wasn't Cordon Bleu... I took two-hundred from shylocks, pop, to see Sinatra at the Garden? Sat two seats away from Tony Bennett. That's success.

Police Chief Hubbard: What's this man doing here?
Axel Foley: Bleeding, sir.

Terry Brogan: So what is it you don't like exactly, football players, tacos, or beer?
Jessie Wyler: I like tacos and beer.

Danny Vermin: I enjoy collecting protection money, putting whores to work, loan-sharking. I enjoy planting bombs in people's cars. These are a few of my favorite things.
Johnny Dangerously: You know, Danny, I think you get too much sugar in your diet.

Young Patsy: Hey, stop by for you later.
Young Noodles: Yeah, but knock here on the john first! My old man's praying, and my old lady's crying, and the light's turned off. What the hell should I go home for? At least in here I can read.

Principal Underwood: Go fuck an iceberg.