Lite: You like music, listen to this. I was into these dudes before anyone. Wanted me to be their manager. I called bullshit on that. Managing a pop group is no job for a man.
Dr. Donna Burke: Just what the hell are you guys running here, a gd zoo? I'm in the middle of a fundraiser breakfast when I'm informed that your school psychologist has flipped out in the middle of your gd office. And, then I get here and find out that there has been a stabbing, and if that's not enough, one of your kids tries to eat one of your gd teachers. Mr. Rubell, what the hell do you call that?
Roger Rubell: Monday.
Samantha Belmont: So did you make it with him last night?
Regina Belmont: Who?
Samantha Belmont: The Good Humor man, who do you think?
Regina Belmont: Geez, is that what's bugging you?
Samantha Belmont: That's no answer, man.
Regina Belmont: No I didn't make it with him last night. Why are you so weirded out?
Samantha Belmont: Oh right Reg, why should I be weirded out? My sister, who swiped every guy I ever had my eye on, has now swiped the last guy in the whole freaked out world.
Nick De Angelo: Don't make this a personal thing, Colin.
Colin Gilchrist Fisher: But it is personal. Isn't it?
The Devil: I love to scare the hell out of people.
Victor Frankenstein: People are weird.
Vladimir Ivanoff: That be two big Macs, one quarter pounder with cheese, six pieces chicken McNuggets, two boxes Ronald McDonald cookies, one order McFries, two chocolate McShakes. Meh that to go?
Woman in McDonalds: No, I eat it here.
Vladimir Ivanoff: Come back McSoon.
Sir Gawain: I forgot to ask one question during my quick initiation into knighthood.
Humphrey: Oh? What's that?
Sir Gawain: How to relieve myself in this tin suit.
Rudy: You people... stay out of our way. You may ski on zat side OR on zat side, but stay out of zee meedle.
Dan O'Callahan: Hey, Rudy, you can kiss my ass. Not on zis side and not on zat side, but right in zee meedle.
Virgil: Nighttime is promise, brother. You make deals in the night. Pay all you've got for what you can't see and when sun come up. Illuminate: we been cheated again.
Stan Gable: Times are changing, Betty. These nerds are a threat to our way of life.
Betty Childs: If they win the Homecoming Carnival, they'll be able to take over the Greek Council.
Stan Gable: Yeah. And we'll be up to our asses in nerd shit.
Larry Hubbard: What'd you have for lunch?
Warren Evans: Toast.
Larry Hubbard: White?
Warren Evans: Rye.
Larry Hubbard: Good?
Warren Evans: Yeah.
Larry Hubbard: Sounds good.
Zeno: I hope no-one minds but I have no intention of facing this sober.
Ninfa, Whore at Marguerita's: I am the best French kisser in Chile Verde.
Abel Wood: If I come across a Frenchman, I'll be sure to let him know.
Henry 'Hopper' Nash/Lou: Tyrone Power never said fuck 'em.
Willie: It's just a moment. We're here. Then we're not here. We're somewhere else... maybe. And it's as natural as breathing. Why should we be scared?
Officer O'Clancy: No way, you're wasting your time.
Cigar Face: That's where you're wrong. YOU'RE wasting our time. And now we're gonna waste you.