Boring Prophet: There shall in that time be rumors of things going astray, erm, and there shall be a great confusion as to where things really are, and nobody will really know where lieth those little things with the sort of raffia-work base, that has an attachment. At that time, a friend shall lose his friend's hammer, and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night before, about eight o'clock.
Abraz: Bullshit. Who sent you here, boy? Did that chickenshit asshole Raphael send you, boy?
Chance the Gardener: No. Mr. Thomas Franklin told me I must leave the old man's house. He's dead, you know.
Abraz: Dead, my ass. You tell that asshole, if he got somethin' to tell me, to get his ass down here himself! You got that, boy?
Lauren King: So what does your father do?
Daniel Michon: He drives.
Lauren King: A truck?
Daniel Michon: No... a taxi.
Lauren King: You shouldn't be embarrassed, it's honest work.
Daniel Michon: Not the way he does it.
Hippy: The draft is white people sending black people to make war on the yellow people to defend the land they stole from the red people.
Riff Randell: Tom Roberts is so boring his brother is an only child.
Dad: I dreamed all last night, that everyone I ever sold a car to came back for a refund. And there you were, handing out the checks! One for you, and one for you.
Mr. Mike: What you are about to see is not for the weak. It is not even for the strong.
Vince Ricardo: Sometimes I'm so smart I scare myself.
Daisuke Jigen: Which are we helping?
Lupin III: The girl.
Daisuke Jigen: Typical.
Lupin III: That's Zenigata, truly the ideal of the Shoowa Period. A man incomparable for his determination to his work.
Pvt. Ogden Johnson Jones: Real Japs?
Captain Wild Bill Kelso: Nah, wooden Japs, Cheetah. What do you think?
Wendall: I'm gonna get me a bottle of tequila and find me one of them Keno girls that can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch and just kinda kick back.
Charles Bernstein: I'm Charles Bernstein. Attorney for the late Milton Parker.
Marvin Dummitz: You mean someone else is late now?
Terry 'The Toad' Fields: Oh, come on, look at me, I'm a free man! The war is over, and I win.
Tom Trimble: Right after I'm burned at the stake I'll tell the whole story to King Arthur.
Senator Milburn: Would it not show more foresight to tell him before the burning?
Cactus Jack: I come to speak with straight tongue.
Nervous Elk: Tongue may be straight, but mouth hide many sharp teeth.