Jim: Well, it got so that every piss-ant prairie punk who thought he could shoot a gun would ride into town to try out the Waco Kid. I must have killed more men than Cecil B. DeMille. It got pretty gritty. I started to hear the word "draw" in my sleep. Then one day, I was just walking down the street when I heard a voice behind me say, "Reach for it, mister!" I spun around... And there I was, face-to-face with a six-year old kid. Well, I just threw my guns down and walked away. Little bastard shot me in the ass. So I limped to the nearest saloon, crawled inside a whiskey bottle, and I've been there ever since.
Inga: Dr. Fronkensteen! Are you all right?
Fredrick Frankenstein: MY NAME...IS FRANKENSTEIN!
Melody: I didn't get your name.
Lightfoot: Well, I didn't give it to ya'. My name is Lightfoot.
Melody: "Lightfoot"?
Lightfoot: That's right.
Melody: That's a dumb name. I mean, what kind of person would name a kid that, ya' know?
Lightfoot: What's your name?
Melody: Melody.
Lightfoot: "Melody"? That's not a dumb name?.. Hey, maybe we had the same father?
Athos: Leave now. Leave Paris, leave France. Get as far from that evil woman's grasp as you can.
Bailiff: OK, Lez-beans! I caught ya! Bumpin' pussies is a violation of jail rules.
Earl Williams: You don't have to answer this, Mollie, but is it true what they said in the papers?
Mollie Malloy: Is what true?
Earl Williams: That you were going to marry me on the gallows.
Mollie Malloy: Well, if it's in the papers, it must be true. They wouldn't print a lie.
Bogdanski: What the hell was that?
Paul Crewe: That was a dropkick.
Bogdanski: Dropkick?
Paul Crewe: Dropkick.
Bogdanski: How much is that worth?
Paul Crewe: Three points.
Bogdanski: Three points?
Paul Crewe: Three points.
Bogdanski: For that? Bullshit.
Bomb#20: In the beginning, there was darkness. And the darkness was without form, and void.
Boiler: What the hell is he talking about?
Bomb#20: And in addition to the darkness there was also me. And I moved upon the face of the darkness. And I saw that I was alone. Let there be light.
Beef: Oh, I knew I shouldn't be screwing around with the dead man's music. This place is possessed.
Arnold Philbin: What are you talking about?
Beef: You trying to tell me you didn't hear that shriek? That was something trying to get out of its premature grave, and I don't want to be here when it does.
Arnold Philbin: Opening night prima donnas. Look, iron man. If you so uptight, take a shower and cool off.
Beef: My pleasure... bones.
Julie: It doesn't hurt to fall off the moon.
Frannie Malincanico: I want that ring, Stanley.
Stanley Rosiello: I got a ring for ya, Fran. I got a ring for ya. Around my bathtub.
Lady Daley: All this talk of Big Dick. I've had enough of it.