Colonel Cathcart: You're a disgrace. I'd like to know how you got to be a Captain, anyway.
Yossarian: You promoted me.
Colonel Cathcart: That has got nothing to do with it.
June: I wondered if it would be safe for me to go for a walk. I mean, would anything happen?
Bill Boosey: Darling, you could walk starkers through a Foreign Legion outpost and nothing would happen.
Duke d'Escargot: I warn you gentlemen, I am not to be trifled with. To pull the tail of a lion is to open the mouth of trouble and reveal the teeth of revenge biting the tongue of deceit.
Inspector Morosini: Right! Bring in the perverts.
Adolf Hitler: Did you know that last year more people died from cigarette smoking than from bombings?
Brendan Byers III: What will you do about that, Führer?
Adolf Hitler: Increase the bombings.
Michael 'Mike': I love her.
Cinema Owner: You perverted little monster.
Lt. George 'Youngblood' Carson: My grandmother was a full-blooded Cherokee Indian.
Lili Smith: How exciting.
Lt. George 'Youngblood' Carson: It was for my granddaddy.
Jimmy Price: What's going on back there?
Black Deputy: Police brutality.
Frank Vecchio: We're all strangers. But after a while you get used to it. You become deeper strangers. That's a sort of love.
Henry Miller: Could you loan me five francs to take a taxi to St. Lazare? Now, you know Mona. If I'm not there to meet the boat train, she's liable to turn right around and go back.
Il Dottore - Former head of homicide squad: The people are minor and, therefore, we have no choice but to repress: The repression is our vaccine.
Count Yorga: Doctor Hayes, what an unexpected surprise.
Dr. James Hayes: Yes, so much so that I almost had a massive coronory.
John Morgan: It just occurred to me... I've traveled halfway around the world, at great expense, simply to kill a different kind of bird.
Dr. Brockton: Malcolm, get me my hypo-gun - quickly.
Mr. Graham: I live alone, I'm not married.
Lady Britt Dorset: Are you queer or divorced?
Count Dracula: One of my race crossed the Danube a destroyed the Turkish host.Though sometimes beaten back he came again and again then at the end he came again for he alone could triumph.This was a Dracula indeed.
The Lecturer: Social behavior. Schjelderup-Ebbe first used the word dominance in describing his observations on the social hierarchies of birds. He concluded that within a flock, composed of single species, there exists a definite order of social distinctions. And between any two birds, one invariably has precedence over the other.
Detective James McParlan: Dougherty, then? You've time enough for that. He's not hanged yet.
Jack Kehoe: You're a cool one.
Detective James McParlan: That's the difference between us, Jack.
Jack Kehoe: I have no coolness in me at all.
Cyrus McNutt: They're killing me by inches, Dudley.
Dudley Whinner: You'll outlive us all. You got a lot of inches.
Watson: Wouldn't it be ironic if Holmes' last case were a case of pneumonia?