Professor Gustav Lindt: I forbid you to leave this room.
Aldo Vanucci: Aagghh! If only I could steal enough to become an honest man.
Col. Mathieu: Should we remain in Algeria? If you answer "yes," then you must accept all the necessary consequences.
Lew Harper: The bottom is loaded with nice people, Albert. Only cream and bastards rise.
Lily: The whole thing sounds underhanded, disgraceful and messy, and you can count on me.
Charles Kent: Guess who?
Diana Kent: Horace Peabody.
Charles Kent: Right first try.
Diana Kent: Did you enjoy your port, cigars and man's talk?
Charles Kent: No, not very much, but then, you know, it takes female company for me to sh... who's Horace Peabody?
Diana Kent: An old beau of mine. Before your time, darling.
Charles Kent: There was no before my time. You were a schoolgirl in pigtails.
Diana Kent: Even schoolgirls have their moments.
Mr. Cramden: Flint, the world's in trouble.
Derek Flint: Well, it usually is, but it manages to extricate itself without my help.
Sir James Forbes: High-ate-ee is how he pronounces Haiti.
Izo Yamura: Right after the war, my house in Tokyo was used by an American general and his family. When it was returned to me, it had: flowered wallpaper, three new bathrooms, and four new closets. Americans, I think, are over-devoted to bathrooms and closets.
Pete Aron: Well, we accumulate things.
Izo Yamura: And then you lock them away in closets. And the bathrooms?
Pete Aron: No, no, you don't get me on that one.
Torgo: I am Torgo, I take care of the place while the Master is away.
Commissioner: Send him a Marshall. Anything for peace.
Perkins: That's just the trouble, sir. We haven't any available.
Commissioner: Nobody? What about that big head who's always hanging around here looking for work? What's his name? Dillon. What's he doing?
Perkins: Six months.
Mother Superior: As for the social graces, I'm convinced that your school encourages barbarism and concerns itself only with free thinking, free wheeling and finger-painting.
Mr. Petrie: The finest educational minds in the country happen to be on our side.
Mother Superior: God is on ours.
Jake Holman: Hit him. He's getting tired.
Po-han: Maybe he tired hit me.
Tony: I couldn't help it, Charlie. I had to find out where I went wrong. The years I've spent trying to get all the things I was told were important - that I was supposed to want! Things! Not people... or meaning. Just things. And California was the same. They made the decisions for me all over again and they were the same things, really. It's going to be different from now on. A new face and a name. I'll do the rest. I know it's going to be different. I suppose you do too.
George: You take the trouble to construct a civilization, to build a society based on the principles of... of principle. You make government and art and realise that they are, must be, both the same. You bring things to the saddest of all points, to the point where there is something to lose. Then, all at once, through all the music, through all the sensible sounds of men building, attempting, comes the Dies Irae. And what is it? What does the trumpet sound? Up yours.
Aiko Kurawa: Don't make a big MaGilla out of it. Unless it is a big MaGilla.
Cook: Water! Thirsty! Sick man.