Homer Smith: I'm gonna' build me a chapel.
Phileas Fogg III: Moe, about how long would you say I've been having kippers for breakfast?
Moe: Man and boy, I'd say we've been eating our kippers every day for, it must be 11 years, sir.
Phileas Fogg III: Time for a change. Starting tomorrow, I'd like sausages.
Moe: Oh, those ugly little brown - SAUSAGES?
Guido: My Dears... Happiness consists of being able to tell the truth without hurting anyone.
Albert Poop-Decker: If you've got a heart of oak, it's got a worm in it.
Professor Julius Kelp: Well, just don't do something, sit there.
Big Daddy: The pit! Bring me my pendulum, kiddies, I feel like swinging.
Louise Haloran: It's nice to see her enjoying herself for a change. The mood around this place isn't good for her... Especially an American girl. You can tell she's been raised on promises.
Jenny Bowman: You think you can make me sing? Do you think you can - do you think George can make me sing? or Ida? You can get me there, sure, but can you make me sing? I sing for myself. I sing when I want to, whenever I want to, just for me. I sing for my own pleasure. Whenever I want - do you under stand that?
Simon Orne: Joseph, have you not gorged yourself enough on revenge?
Charles Dexter Ward: You do not know the extent of my appetite, Simon. I'll not have my fill of revenge until this village is a graveyard. Until they have felt, as I did, the kiss of fire on their soft bare flesh. All of them. Have patience my friends. Surely, after all these years, I'm entitled to a few small amusements.
Archimedes the Owl: What-what-what? Wht-wht-what's up, boy? What's going on?
Arthur: They're having a Wizard's Duel. What's that mean?
Archimedes the Owl: Oh, it's a battle of wits. The players change themselves to different things in an attempt to, uh... to... destroy one another.
Arthur: D-d-des-destroy?
Archimedes the Owl: Well just watch, boy. Just watch. You'll get the idea.
Rex Black: Where did he get it?
Stella Black: I lost it.
Rex Black: Where?
Stella Black: In his bed.
Claris Coleman: The two most important books in the whole world are the Bible and the unexpurgated dictionary.
Irma La Douce: Who wants to be a stray dog? You got to belong to someone, even if he kicks you once in a while.