Dr. Craven: Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary, / Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore. / While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping, / As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door./ "'Tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door. / Only this and nothing more."
Terry 'Pintpot' Tankard: Are you the boss or something?
Ted Watson: I'm what they call the something manager. My advice to you is to be off.
Terry 'Pintpot' Tankard: You mean buzz off?
Ted Watson: No, but you're getting warm.
Count Bertil Jacobsson: Can you smile, Mr. Craig?
Andrew Craig: Yes, if you say something funny.
Moustache: But that's another story.
Dean Beck: What do you have against preachers?
Clay Spencer: It's what they preach against I'm against.
Dean Beck: I'm afraid I don't understand?
Clay Spencer: They're against everything I'm for. They don't allow drinkin' or smokin', card playin', pool shootin', dancin', cussin' - or huggin', kissin' and lovin'. And mister, I'm for all of them things.
Merlin: There! You see? I'm an ugly, horrible, grouchy old man.
Homer Smith: I'm gonna' build me a chapel.
Phileas Fogg III: Moe, about how long would you say I've been having kippers for breakfast?
Moe: Man and boy, I'd say we've been eating our kippers every day for, it must be 11 years, sir.
Phileas Fogg III: Time for a change. Starting tomorrow, I'd like sausages.
Moe: Oh, those ugly little brown - SAUSAGES?
Guido: My Dears... Happiness consists of being able to tell the truth without hurting anyone.
Albert Poop-Decker: If you've got a heart of oak, it's got a worm in it.
Professor Julius Kelp: Well, just don't do something, sit there.
Big Daddy: The pit! Bring me my pendulum, kiddies, I feel like swinging.
Louise Haloran: It's nice to see her enjoying herself for a change. The mood around this place isn't good for her... Especially an American girl. You can tell she's been raised on promises.