Best war movie stupidity of all time

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The Great Escape picture

Stupidity: The scene in the outdoor Parisian cafe is incredibly daft. First, the cafe owners call James Coburn's bizarrely-accented Australian to the telephone to keep him out of the way as their accomplices assassinate three uniformed German officers seated in the cafe in a drive by shooting. They then toast the killings with cognac, and that is the mistake - not the shootings, not the luring away of Coburn - the mistake is that the cafe proprietors celebrate the assassination of the German officers in broad daylight, in the open, without even stopping to think that such an action would have them shot, because all of this is done in the direct view of passers-by in broad daylight. Do they think those three German officers were the only ones in Paris? How did they know Coburn wasn't an undercover Gestapo agent or a French collaborator? Don't they stop to consider that in an occupied city machine gun fire is going to draw some attention from the authorities, who might just wonder what a couple of bullet riddled corpses are doing lying about the place?

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Suggested correction: Regarding the French cafe proprietors making a toast, if questioned, they could simply claim they were celebrating surviving the incident and/or needed a calming drink. Considering any ensuring panic and confusion after the shooting, pedestrians would hardly notice the waiters. Attention would be on the dead Germans. French citizens most likely wouldn't care or cooperate with the authorities. Being indifferent to German officers getting killed is not proof of involvement. Most French hardly be remorseful over their enemies' deaths. Antagonism toward the Germans was normal. It would be more suspicious if the proprietors showed concern. As far as helping James Coburn, it was pretty obvious he was neither French or German, and they took a chance to protect an innocent bystander. Also, it was to inject some subtle levity into the scene.

raywest

Rubbish. During the occupation Paris was crawling with collaborators and undercover German agents. The cafe owners are drinking champagne - not much of a nerve stiffener! - and they clink glasses in celebration of the shooting of the German officers. Their actions are beyond obvious to anyone that can see them. They simply would not take the risk and would act as if they were horrified to see their customers shot dead in their cafe.

Nope. Even if collaborators were "crawling" around, no-one would expect any French citizen to care about Nazis being killed. If questioned they can claim it was for the other reasons already stated (and they are not drinking champagne). It does not prove their involvement. Little would come of them being interrogated. As mentioned, this is a movie, and the scene injects subtle humor and is intended to show the audience that they are involved in the coordinated plan.

raywest

Again, rubbish. The Nazis occupying Paris arrested anyone suspected of belonging to or assisting the Resistance on the slightest pretext, and the cafe owners who were celebrating the deaths of three German officers would be in a Gestapo prison cell before the bodies of the dead Germans were cold. What they do after the Germans are shot is blatant, irresponsible, dangerous and completely unnecessary. They could have saved their celebrations for later when it was safe.

Once again, NOPE. Clinking glasses is not proof of possibly belonging to or aiding the Resistance. They also were not wildly celebrating. It was a quick, low-key action, and they looked both nervous and relieved. Also, I re-watched the scene on YouTube. When the car pulls up to shoot the Nazis, the street around them is completely empty. No witnesses anywhere. People are only seen far in the background. The phone call just before the shooting is a signal and indicates this was well-coordinated and timed. Secondly, the story needs to move quickly, and insignificant characters would not be seen toasting later. This also showed James Coburn (and us) that the waiters were potential allies.

raywest

You think the Nazis needed proof of someone's involvement in the Resistance? They arrested, tortured and shot innocent people on the unsubstantiated word of pro-German informers! No witnesses anywhere? What about Coburn? They didn't know who he was or where he was from. For all they know he could have been a Gestapo agent himself. The scene is absurd. Nobody is so stupid as to do what they did at the risk of dying horribly if caught doing it.

It should also be noted that the cafe owners duck behind their counter before the car carrying the gunmen shows up, and they get Coburn to do the same. They just provided incontrovertible evidence that they knew about the assassinations ahead of time.

Yes, they absolutely were part of it, and the hit was timed and planned in advance for the opportune moment. This was not a random act, and the phone call is the signal that sets the events in motion. When they made the toast, they knew the street was completely empty and obviously felt it was safe to do so. Also, if Coburn was a spy or collaborator, he would have warned the Nazis, not hidden behind the counter. THIS IS A MOVIE, NOT REAL LIFE.

raywest

More The Great Escape stupidity
Das Boot picture

Stupidity: No U-boat commander is going to "finish off" a ship that is dead in the water and is on fire from stem to stern. He exposes his boat and his men to mortal peril by surfacing, brightly lit by a full moon and the fires burning on the sinking ship, making them a sitting duck for the destroyers that might well be still in the area. He also wastes a precious torpedo for absolutely no net gain.

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Where Eagles Dare picture

Stupidity: Why does Lt Schaffer attempt to sneak up on the German radio operator? The radio operator has his back to him and is distracted with the music from his radio so Schaffer easily has enough time to run up behind him and kill him before he raises the alarm. (01:41:30)

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Guns of Navarone picture

Stupidity: Major Franklin is struggling up the side of the cliff while the rest of the group are on top of the cliff checking their equipment, then he slips and slides down the cliff side, breaking his leg. After seeing this, the group members reach for a long length of rope that was used to bring up the other members and the supplies. The commandos could have used the rope to help Major Franklin climb up and prevent him from falling and injuring himself.

Scott215

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The Dirty Dozen picture

Stupidity: The lack of security at the château is not plausible. The Germans typically would have layers of protection around headquarters or other sensitive areas. In the movie, there are two middle aged guys guarding the road into the Château. After that there are no checkpoints, no patrols, and no controlled access points into the castle. It makes no sense that dozens of officers would be left vulnerable to an attack by French resistance fighters, let alone an Allied airborne assault.

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Saving Private Ryan picture

Stupidity: When they are preparing for a German assault towards the end of the movie, Miller explains to them the concept of the sticky bomb and adds, "If you have a better idea of knocking the treads off a tank I'd like to hear it." Um... The bazooka? They had eight rounds for it, and it could have easily been used to disable the treads. And the men wouldn't blow themselves up with it. While it couldn't destroy a tank by penetrating the armour, it's certainly strong enough to disable the tracks.

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Suggested correction: Allied forces familiar with the Panzer VI "Tiger", a 60-ton Main Battle Tank during the war knew that the armor is very tough and, even with support fire from a friendly tank, the odds of destroying a Tiger tank with a bazooka like Horvath's are pretty small. From the infantry perspective, techniques that were developed and employed in order to combat heavy Tiger tanks focused mainly on disabling the tank rather than destroying it. Anti-tank weapons of the era, such as the bazooka, were ineffective against most areas of the Tiger's armor, so specific weak points in the design were the focus. Hitting the Tiger in the tracks, suspension, engine compartment, observation slits, and in the joint between the main body and turret were some of the common weak points. Tiger tanks could only be destroyed head-on or from the sides by land mines, or direct hits by heavy artillery shells, or bombs dropped from aircraft. In the film, the first Tiger is disabled by taking out the tracks with "sticky bombs" followed by grenades thrown in the turret hatch. When Horvath fires at the second Tiger, both shots are placed on the joint between the body and the turret, the idea most likely being to hinder or incapacitate the turret's ability to swivel left or right. As the war went on, the Allies developed better strategies for disabling Tigers. One example involved British Cromwell or US Sherman tanks trying to "flank" a Tiger by working in squadrons or columns. One or more tanks would act as a diversion to keep the Tiger's crew focused in front of it while another tank would maneuver behind the Tiger and hit it in the rear section where its armor was the weakest.

Joey221995

Excellently put.

Ssiscool

More Saving Private Ryan stupidity
Battle of the Bulge picture

Stupidity: Staff Sergeant Duquesne is tossing and flipping rifle grenades before affixing them to his rifle to launch against the German tanks. A battle-hardened no-nonsense sergeant like Duquesne would never waste valuable time showing off, and would definitely not flip or toss around explosive ordnance like rifle grenades.

Scott215

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In Harm's Way picture

Stupidity: When Hugh O'Brian and the woman are on the beach, the Japanese planes shoot at them. Most unlikely that a plane would have gone out of formation to shoot at what appears to be a couple of civilians cavorting harmlessly on a beach, nor would the rear gunner have wasted his ammo on them.

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Fury picture

Stupidity: In the exciting denouement when the SS company approach the ostensibly disabled Sherman, the SS would have just walked around it. A burning tank was a common occurrence. I doubt they would start climbing on it and they certainly wouldn't start charging at it individually as to get mowed down. The SS were well trained units. Such stupidity is unlikely.

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The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 2 picture

Stupidity: Unless Snow has solid proof like pictures or video why should Katniss believe her main enemy's word that it was Alma Coin, not him, who killed those kids?

Rob245

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Suggested correction: This is a question and not a stupidity. Katniss didn't just accept Snow at his word. Earlier Gale had mentioned an attack strategy to inflict maximum casualties on medics that matched the attack on the Capitol. Then Gale could not deny his part in Prim's death. All the evidence pointed to Coin being responsible as Snow suggested.

Bishop73

I appreciate responses here because it means you're reading stuff and that makes my day.

Rob245

More The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 2 stupidity
Air War picture

Stupidity: When Eitan and Ran escape the Egyptian troops, they take shelter in a creek and fire back at them. Ran is firing from his handgun, but the troops are at least a couple of hundred meters away, while a common handgun can only reach a range of about 30 meters. There is no way the handgun's bullets will even reach the chasing troops. (00:57:24)

tsahi

More Air War stupidity
Pearl Harbor picture

Stupidity: In the scene where the Japanese pilots are attacking the main airfield, at one point in the background, you can see a Bofors Anti-Aircraft gun, yet nobody bothers to use it.

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Suggested correction: Maybe it doesn't have any ammo, or there is nobody around who actually knows how to use it. These things can happen in a surprise attack on what is basically a holiday resort.

lionhead

More Pearl Harbor stupidity
Battle of Britain picture

Stupidity: Warrant Officer Warrick yells at Section Officer Harvey to put out her cigarette because the gas mains have gone. He ignores the fact that there are fires raging everywhere, which would be much more likely to ignite the gas than a single cigarette.

stiiggy

More Battle of Britain stupidity

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