Coulson: I'm going to invent new ways to ruin the rest of your life. And we'll do whatever's necessary to get HYDRA intel from you, but your torture... Is going be internal.
May: And a little bit external.
Coulson: Sure, some of that.
Phil Coulson: I can't think of a single time anything alien in human hands ended well.
Skye: I wouldn't mind getting my human hands on Thor. He's so dreamy.
Phil Coulson: Sure. He's handsome, but...
Melinda May: No, he's dreamy.
Phil Coulson: You know, it'd be nice, if for once, Thor and his people sent the god of cleaning up after yourself.
Grant Ward: There are two ways we can do this.
Skye: Oh, is one of them the easy way?
Grant Ward: No.
Skye: Oh.
Maria Hill: What does S.H.I.E.L.D. Stand for, Agent Ward?
Grant Ward: Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division.
Maria Hill: And what does that mean to you?
Grant Ward: It means someone really wanted our initials to spell out "shield."
Chosen answer: Coulson believes he was resuscitated then sent to Tahiti to recuperate. "A magical place," he calls it. But in the "Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D." episode "The Magical Place", Coulson, through a mind-reading machine, learns that he was treated by S.H.I.E.L.D. and a fake memory of Tahiti was placed as a "mask" of sorts over the painful memory of the operation, which involved a drug seemingly of alien origin to repair the damage, coupled with a lot of morally dubious surgery.