Don: Ass right there, freeze-hole!
Why Dickie Can't Teach - S6-E6
Sally: Hey you guys, look: "Rutherford's 10 Most Powerful Men." What number are you, Don?
Don: Um, number "not on it."
Sally: What, have they just never heard of you? How could that be?
Don: Well Sally, I'm just a cop. But I once stopped number 8 for speeding, though. He let me off with a warning.
See Dick Continue to Run, Continued (3) - S2-E2
Evil Dick: Stay and witness my moment of glory, as I impregnate the entire population of Ohio with my demon progeny.
Tommy: Wait, wait. Even the men?
Evil Dick: Okay, not the men.
Sally: What about little girls?
Evil Dick: Mmm, no, not them.
Tommy: What about elderly women?
Evil Dick: I don't think so.
Harry: What about women who are already pregnant?
Evil Dick: Oh, shut up, all of you! Okay, so apparently I won't be impregnating the entire population of Ohio. But all fertile women of child-bearing age who are not currently pregnant, and that's a lot!
Fifteen Minutes of Dick - S2-E23
Mary: Dick, why are you so upset about this? What do you want?
Dick: Fame. I wanna live forever. Light up the sky like a flame. Fame.
[The Solomons discover that they owe $9,500 in back-taxes.]
Tommy: $9,500?
Sally: Oh my god you guys, what are we gonna do?
Tommy: I mean look at all these receipts from all these meals. If we'd only talked about business during some of them we could write off all this money as deductions.
Dick: Who says we didn't talk about business?
Tommy: Yes, 'cause that's the only reason we ever go out to eat anyway, right, is to talk about business.
Sally: Business.
Harry: Okay, I must tune out because I never hear us talking about business.
Dick: Yes, we can lie on our taxes.
Tommy: I can't believe that no human has ever thought of this before.
Sally: Okay, wait a second you guys. What if we get caught?
Dick: How can we get caught? All those other dopes out there are telling the truth about their taxes, they're just going to assume that we are too.
Dick, Who's Coming to Dinner - S5-E6
[The Solomons are sitting in their car after attending a white power rally.]
Sally: Well it's a good thing Barry White wasn't there.
Harry: Those guys were kinda creepy.
Tommy: Why do you think they burned that giant lower-case letter T?
Dick: I don't want to be a part of any group that hates the lower-case letter T.
Just Your Average Dick (1) - S3-E22
Mary: Dick, you and your family, I know you mean well but sometimes it's like being around the Addams family.
Dick: Well, I will admit that John Adams' views of a strong central government may have been ahead of their time, but I...
Mary: That's not who I meant.
Dick: John Quincy Adams? You're comparing me to that freak show!?
Frankie Goes to Rutherford - S5-E19
Don: Come on, Sally, we're late.
Sally: Oh, gosh, OK.
Harry: Where you guys going?
Don: Uh, we're going to see the Kenny Loggins Experience. Yeah, they're a Kenny Loggins tribute band.
Tommy: Oh, they sound just like him?
Don: Well, I hope not. I hate Kenny Loggins. (00:08:00)
