Continuity mistake: In the 1991 flashback, Jamie is already engaged to Paul and is shown with long hair. However, in the 'Cold Feet' episode, Jamie is shown with short hair. Since the 'Cold Feet' episode was set in February of '91 and the flashback from this episode was set in late March or April of '91, these two episodes don't match up.
Mad About You (1992)
Episode list - season 7
Starring: Helen Hunt, Paul Reiser, John Pankow, Leila Kenzle, Maui
Jamie Buchman: We're having lasagna. There is a recipe in the back of a Rice Krispies box.
Question: Why is Ursula in this show portrayed differently to how Phoebe's twin is on Friends? They're meant to be the same character.
Answer: The writers have the freedom develop the character to suit the different shows' plots. They wanted to create a certain dynamic between Phoebe and Ursula that was rather contentious and strained because it made for more tension and conflict and showcased the differences that kept the sisters estranged.
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Answer: Just think about your own life, I am sure you do not act the same with your siblings or close friends as you do with a stranger (because that is what the Buchmans essentially are to Ursula). In Mad About You, she is an extremely bad waitress and in Friends she is a jerk - those are not mutually exclusive character traits. This can also be seen in the Friends episode when Jamie and Fran are in Central Perk and run into Phoebe who answers their questions in an aloof manner and they assume it's Ursula. Is Phoebe always aloof? No. But she was to strangers asking her weird questions. Also, Ursula has been aloof with Phoebe as well (like in the one where they all turn 30 or the one where the grandmother passes away, etc).