Family Guy (1999)

Barely Legal - S5-E8

Connie: You know, Meg, there's no dogs allowed. So, you're going to have to leave. But Brian can stay.
Brian Griffin: You know, Connie, I think I have this theory about why you're such a bitch.
Connie: Excuse me?
Meg Griffin: Brian, let's just go.
Brian Griffin: No, no, no, no, no, no. Hang on a minute, Meg, hang on. You see, Connie, you're popular because you developed early and started giving handjobs when you were twelve. But now you can't stand to look in the mirror because all you see is a whore. So you pick on Meg to avoid the inevitable realization that once your body's used up by age nineteen, you're gonna be a worn out chalky skinned burlap sack that even your own stepdad won't want. How is that? Am I in the ballpark?
[Connie runs off crying].

Grumpy Old Man - S10-E9

Trivia: One of the cutaway gags is about someone who survived 9/11 because he was late for work watching late night football. Seth MacFarlane missed his flight, which would have been one of the flights to crash into the World Trade Center, because his agent had given him the incorrect departure time. The plane was scheduled to depart at 7:45 AM and his agent had told him it was departing at 8:15 AM. By the time Seth arrived the boarding had been closed and he was told he would have to catch a later flight.

Business Guy - S8-E9

Question: In the episode, Peter threatens to fire Lois, and she responds with "you wouldn't" and Peter then replies with "Oh really, does the name Lacey Chabert mean anything to you?" which in turn makes Lois go wide eyed and reply with "OK, I'll behave" and Peter then goes on to add "Yes you will" Can anyone explain this joke if it is a joke to comprehend?