Family Guy (1999)

Barely Legal - S5-E8

Connie: You know, Meg, there's no dogs allowed. So, you're going to have to leave. But Brian can stay.
Brian Griffin: You know, Connie, I think I have this theory about why you're such a bitch.
Connie: Excuse me?
Meg Griffin: Brian, let's just go.
Brian Griffin: No, no, no, no, no, no. Hang on a minute, Meg, hang on. You see, Connie, you're popular because you developed early and started giving handjobs when you were twelve. But now you can't stand to look in the mirror because all you see is a whore. So you pick on Meg to avoid the inevitable realization that once your body's used up by age nineteen, you're gonna be a worn out chalky skinned burlap sack that even your own stepdad won't want. How is that? Am I in the ballpark?
[Connie runs off crying].

Trivia: A Quahog is another name for a clam, thus all the jokes and places in town (like the drunken clam bar) the show makes reference about.

Tobin OReilly

Business Guy - S8-E9

Question: In the episode, Peter threatens to fire Lois, and she responds with "you wouldn't" and Peter then replies with "Oh really, does the name Lacey Chabert mean anything to you?" which in turn makes Lois go wide eyed and reply with "OK, I'll behave" and Peter then goes on to add "Yes you will" Can anyone explain this joke if it is a joke to comprehend?