Phyllis Thorne: Oh, what a day! I've never had to dry so many tears.
Big Dee Dee Thorne: You poor dear. Were you trying on bathing suits again?
Phyllis Thorne: Maybe you'll find yourself a man this year.
Mona Thorne: But Ma, I'm surrounded by men all the time: Orville Redenbacher, Captain Crunch, Dr. Pepper... Hey, you always wanted me to end up with a doctor.
Phyllis Thorne: Just when I think you've hit rock bottom, you start digging a tunnel.
Mona Thorne: Did Morgan Freeman finally answer your letters?
Phyllis Thorne: No, but his lawyers did. I guess my last love poem was a little raw.
Big Dee Dee Thorne: Well, since no-one has offered to buy me a drink, I guess I'll buy my own. Now I know how Phyllis feels.
Andre Spencer Williams: It's a well known fact: To keep a man, you have to feed a man. Here, I'll prove it to you. Hey, Tina, what the fastest way to a man's heart?
Tina: Through his chest with a sharp knife. Give me something hard next time.
